advice needed...

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by jsarno

I think you guys are right...her on the cruise is a bad idea (I hadn't added her yet anyway), but she will still take off with the kids and likely go to a friends house, or possibly out of state to her parents.
I am still curious as to how this is "abandonment"?

Once she leaves and leaves behind a letter, be 100% sure that letter will come back up in the divorce proceedings. He husband's attorney will use every word to paint her as an unfaithful / unappreciative / neglectful spouse and work to leave her with nothing of the marital assets, not to mention child custody issues.

I'm not an attorney, but abandonment is a flexible term that's a factor in a divorce used to determine either fault, child custody, or amounts of support. Back to one of my points...do not do anything until she (you do not go on the attorney visit) has contacted an attorney and you guys fully understand what legal / financial ground you're on and what the consequences are.

[CRedskinsRule]

Again, not a lawyer, but I doubt abandonment as a legal term here is applicable. it would be more so, if he took off, never seeing the kids or helping in any support, in which case (barring a 1000 other legal technicalities) he could lose a claim to having custody. I think abandonment was first mentioned when less was known.
Having said that, everything else still applies.

[saden1]

Love is like looking left and right at the same time. Love is the sickness and the cure. It is hard to find, hard to keep going, and easy to putout. Love is costly my friends. I know love and many a times I wanted to return it for a refund but all lovely sales are final. Be careful in your purchase, know what you are buying for love is fickle and is not enough.

[FRPLG]

Originally Posted by saden1

Love is like looking left and right at the same time. Love is the sickness and the cure. It is hard to find, hard to keep going, and easy to putout. Love is costly my friends. I know love and many a times I wanted to return it for a refund but all lovely sales are final. Be careful in your purchase, know what you are buying for love is fickle and is not enough.

Truer words saden has never uttered.

[budw38]

I cannot put words together like Saden , so with that good luck Jsarno . I hope everything works out for all of you .

[djnemo65]

Good luck Jsarno, hope it all works out for you. Based on my personal experience I would advise against doing anything impulsive, as being in love and making rational decisions are somewhat mutually exclusive. Indeed, love as a form of insanity is a metaphor that spans all of history, from the tracts of ancient Greece all the way up to recent studies showing the neurological patterns of lovers to resemble psychosis patients. You do crazy stuff you wouldn’t normally do and then wonder what you were thinking later. In college I once gave up living with some of my best friends in a party house to live with a girl who would have otherwise had to transfer to another school (long story). I was consumed by love, or at least what I thought was love, and I made a rash decision that I regret to this day.

So I guess my advice would be this: the more time you can take to step back and think about things rationally and deliberately, the more sound your decision making process will be, and the more likely you will be to find lasting happiness, once the intoxication of an old passion restored wears off.

[Schneed10]

Originally Posted by djnemo65

Good luck Jsarno, hope it all works out for you. Based on my personal experience I would advise against doing anything impulsive, as being in love and making rational decisions are somewhat mutually exclusive. Indeed, love as a form of insanity is a metaphor that spans all of history, from the tracts of ancient Greece all the way up to recent studies showing the neurological patterns of lovers to resemble psychosis patients. You do crazy stuff you wouldn’t normally do and then wonder what you were thinking later. In college I once gave up living with some of my best friends in a party house to live with a girl who would have otherwise had to transfer to another school (long story). I was consumed by love, or at least what I thought was love, and I made a rash decision that I regret to this day.

So I guess my advice would be this: the more time you can take to step back and think about things rationally and deliberately, the more sound your decision making process will be, and the more likely you will be to find lasting happiness, once the intoxication of an old passion restored wears off.

OK so the bolded part really applied more to Menalaus, Helen, and Paris of Troy. But there are no funny gifs of Brad Pitt kicking a dude down a hole. I think I made the right decision.

[Hog1]

GET A GOOD...divorce atty ASAP..to help you map out strategy. NOTHING is as you believe it to be.

Well I have the day to think about this thing as well and read much of this thread. Several things come to mind:
You are potentially stepping into a Hornets nest
EVERYTHING that you can imagine will be used....against your girl in court
If you want a PRAYER of keeping bio dad in check you must remain unknown....totally in this deal so your not stealing his family....that includes the kids. If they mention you, they might have to testify and mom has big problems...big time bad for the kids as well
Do this thing right, and by the numbers so you can always look back and say that you have nothing to be ashamed for!
DON'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU GET AN ATTY. The single worst thing you can do is underestimate your opponent.......ask my x-wife
If it is supposed to be, it will

Good luck to you J

[SmootSmack]

jsarno, just wondering about this

http://www.thewarpath.net/526429-post41.html

I'm curious to know (not so much the part about jamf , )

[jamf]

Originally Posted by SmootSmack

jsarno, just wondering about this

http://www.thewarpath.net/526429-post41.html

I'm curious to know (not so much the part about jamf , )

The Redskins play in SD next year!

If you see an Indian, Construction Worker, Firefighter and a police officer sitting together in the crowd, Thats Me, Jsarno and his roomates!

[firstdown]

If her husband is violent why not just get proof and it would make things that much easier but I also believe that this is what she is telling you. I'm sorry but this whole thing does not really add up. You replied to SS that you have visted a few time and allready the kids cry when you leave after just a few times of meeting you? You also said her current husband does not find this strange and with a violent past this seems very odd that he does not get ticked over you visting with her. If she told him she was leaving and then you start showing up how can he not put two and two together?

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by firstdown

If her husband is violent why not just get proof and it would make things that much easier but I also believe that this is what she is telling you. I'm sorry but this whole thing does not really add up. You replied to SS that you have visted a few time and allready the kids cry when you leave after just a few times of meeting you? You also said her current husband does not find this strange and with a violent past this seems very odd that he does not get ticked over you visting with her. If she told him she was leaving and then you start showing up how can he not put two and two together?

Story=Swiss Cheese

Many holes my friend, many holes.

[Schneed10]

I also feel like I need to state what seems to me as somewhat obvious:

If Julia tried to divorce her husband 3-4 weeks ago, and he got violent with her, isn't it somewhat convenient that she is now calling you up out of the blue after 12 years?

Did it ever occur to you that she's running to you because she needs security, or financial support, or she's simply on an emotional rebound, or all of the above?

It sure feels like you're being used.

[mredskins]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

I also feel like I need to state what seems to me as somewhat obvious:

If Julia tried to divorce her husband 3-4 weeks ago, and he got violent with her, isn't it somewhat convenient that she is now calling you up out of the blue after 12 years?

Did it ever occur to you that she's running to you because she needs security, or financial support, or she's simply on an emotional rebound, or all of the above?

It sure feels like you're being used.

Nail on the head.

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by Schneed10

I also feel like I need to state what seems to me as somewhat obvious:

If Julia tried to divorce her husband 3-4 weeks ago, and he got violent with her, isn't it somewhat convenient that she is now calling you up out of the blue after 12 years?

Did it ever occur to you that she's running to you because she needs security, or financial support, or she's simply on an emotional rebound, or all of the above?

It sure feels like you're being used.

Now that you mentioned that he did say he talked to her right before he got married and left it up to her but she did not stop him.