Advice On Women Thread.

mredskins · 07-07-2010, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12thMan

She's totally not marrying material. But she's definitely like or in love material, you know what I mean? I'm somewhere in between. Not totally in love, but a little more than just like.

She's giving a short speech tomorrow in here in D.C. and asked if I was coming (pardon the pun) to support her. I said yes but that I was cutting out early before things ended. I think if I can stick to the 2/per week rule she'll get the message.

Depending on your age and you are serious about getting married why waste any time on someone you don't deem marriage material? The right one could come along and you are mixed up with some part time lover.

Dude the bottom line is you are blurring the fine line of lust and love. Sounds like you are lusting after this chick.

saden1 · 07-06-2010, 09:09 PM

12th, you want to be friends with benefits, just friends, or do you want to take it to the next level? It isn't clear to me what it is that you want.

12thMan · 07-06-2010, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saden1

12th, you want to be friends with benefits, just friends, or do you want to take it to the next level? It isn't clear to me what it is that you want.

Good question. We swore it we would be just friends, then later we were like let's be friends with benefits until we both find that person. Because honestly there are some things I can't stand about this chick. But generally speaking I love her to death. Know what I mean?

But def not next level intentions here. Maybe I'm just bored and I need something to fill my mind?

saden1 · 07-06-2010, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12thMan

Good question. We swore it we would be just friends, then later we were like let's be friends with benefits until we both find that person. Because honestly there are some things I can't stand about this chick. But generally speaking I love her to death. Know what I mean?

But def not next level intentions here. Maybe I'm just bored and I need something to fill my mind?

Love grows stronger over time so if she isn't marrige material now she will be. If your feelings are stronger than hers and she is leaving I think it's best to just move on and get to work finding that person. I know she will be cause every guy around her wants to bang. Friends with benefits is only good if your on the same page or until some gets cut.

12thMan · 07-06-2010, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saden1

Love grows stronger over time so if she isn't marrige material now she will be. If your feelings are stronger than hers and she is leaving I think it's best to just move on and get to work finding that person. I know she will be cause every guy around her wants to bang. Friends with benefits is only good if your on the same page or until some gets cut.

Hmm...

Slingin Sammy 33 · 07-07-2010, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12thMan

Because honestly there are some things I can't stand about this chick. But generally speaking I love her to death. Know what I mean?

But def not next level intentions here. Maybe I'm just bored and I need something to fill my mind?

Those won't go away over time, only be magnified, and you'll probably find more stuff you can't stand about her. Enjoy the time you have with her for what it is, make this decision with your head, and when it's time to move on, move on (saden's 100% right about not being petty and immature, do it on your terms).

When you find the right one and the timing is right, you'll know. This one doesn't sound like she's it. Good luck.

SBXVII · 07-06-2010, 10:23 PM

12th, I think it all boils down to you and how your approaching life and relationships. I always walked into a relationship as if this could be my wife. I'm not saying your not but it actually seems like you did fall in love with the first girl and you knew the long distant relationship would be dificult and thought it would be easier to just break it off. Then you reverted it later. You built up some barriers(rules) to keep yourself from getting hurt again and unfortunately your still getting hurt.

Now I'm going to get philosophical on you... although these relationships to you are/were awesome there is a reason the powers that be (god) is moving these women on. They must not be the one your meant to spend the rest of your life with. These might have simply been a trial run for you or they needed time away or you needed time away in order to mature in order to know what you want or to grow back together. Especially the first lady since now you know how you felt when she left. May e it's neither and someone more special will step into your life when you are ready to settle down but only you know. It doesn't sound like the second lady was going to be the women especially when you both set a bunch of rules to have to jump through. We all get hurt like this and it helps us grow and learn what we want in a women/wife. Without expierencing these things you'll never know what to look for. Lastly always keep in mind these relationships are helping you to learn your likes and dislikes about your future wife. You'll know when you have found them cause ther will be more traits you like in them and fewer dislikes. You will find they should be your best friend as well as companion. That's not to say you can't have the night out with the guys. Argeuments should be few and far between. And always remember you will get hurt now and then but it's how you deal with it and learn from it.

Perhaps I haven't helped at all but to say maybe they were not the ones and be willing to take chances knowing your feeling might get hurt again instead of putting up such rediculous rules( barriers) to hinder the relationships. If you feel the first girl was all that and the bag of chips then let her know. Maybe she cut ties for you thinking you wouldn't be able to handle it.

724Skinsfan · 07-06-2010, 10:33 PM

12th, are you sure you're not in love, or at least, want to be in love with this #2 lady? Sometimes the friends with benefits relationship doesn't work out because one of the two parties involved can't help but become emotionally attached.

I'm not sure what to think about this person quite honestly. Is she just anchoring herself to you (someone?) for that emotional support? Being far away from home can be pretty lonely and leaving knowing someone is worried or simply missing you brings a degree of comfort.

tryfuhl · 07-07-2010, 01:14 AM

How old are the chicks in question? And in comparison to yourself? Seems like a lot of young progressives in the area would give up nearly anything to travel.

Maybe date a little older, even if it's older than you, someone that's gotten that mostly out of their system. If you don't know chick number 2 is actually leaving maybe bring that up in casual conversation to see how that situation is developing. The worst that can happen is you tell her that you enjoy being around her. If she is leaving just forget about it though. Plenty of other women out there, just takes some weeding out.

SolidSnake84 · 07-07-2010, 08:20 AM

I'm a little late to post for this, but i have good advice to give, or at least i think it's good and maybe it could help you.

It's important to be patient and keep your spirits up when you are in the "waiting" period of finding that "right" girl that you will marry. Like someone else said, treating each relationship like she could be marriage material helps a lot.

I have also attempted the friends with benefits thing, and while casual sex was nice, it was too risky because inevitably feelings develop with that sort of thing.

Before i got with my wife, I dated a girl in 2002. Way back in the day. It had a lot of potential, and i thought that she could be marriage material. Long story short, she cheated on me. I attempted to rebound, and attempted a friends with benefits type deal in 2003, but i was shot mentally and was just playing with fire that feelings wouldn't develop. So it ended. I was in dating exile for almost 2 years. I couldnt get anything going and thought about hanging it up.

Then after almost 3 years of nothing, i met my wife out of nowhere and just hit it off amazingly. Things have been seamless ever since. It's really true what they say, you will absolutley know when you find "the one". So don't give up buddy....your wife could be right around the corner

mredskins · 07-07-2010, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SolidSnake84

I'm a little late to post for this, but i have good advice to give, or at least i think it's good and maybe it could help you.

It's important to be patient and keep your spirits up when you are in the "waiting" period of finding that "right" girl that you will marry. Like someone else said, treating each relationship like she could be marriage material helps a lot.

I have also attempted the friends with benefits thing, and while casual sex was nice, it was too risky because inevitably feelings develop with that sort of thing.

Before i got with my wife, I dated a girl in 2002. Way back in the day. It had a lot of potential, and i thought that she could be marriage material. Long story short, she cheated on me. I attempted to rebound, and attempted a friends with benefits type deal in 2003, but i was shot mentally and was just playing with fire that feelings wouldn't develop. So it ended. I was in dating exile for almost 2 years. I couldnt get anything going and thought about hanging it up.

Then after almost 3 years of nothing, i met my wife out of nowhere and just hit it off amazingly. Things have been seamless ever since. It's really true what they say, you will absolutley know when you find "the one". So don't give up buddy....your wife could be right around the corner

I agree with this when you meet the right person there are no silly games you just know it is the right one.

For the record it is impossible outside of a one night stand to have sex with someone and not think some emotions towards that person will not follow.

joethiesmanfan · 07-07-2010, 09:30 AM

Hit it and ruuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!

dmek25 · 07-07-2010, 09:33 AM

do you want to get married? i guess thats a good place to start

firstdown · 07-07-2010, 10:12 AM

You guys think too much. Just let things ride and if you fall for her or she falls for your then it is what it is. If she moves away then thats a part of life but to try and live life by trying to control your emotions and feelings is boring.

mredskins · 07-07-2010, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by firstdown

You guys think too much. Just let things ride and if you fall for her or she falls for your then it is what it is. If she moves away then thats a part of life but to try and live life by trying to control your emotions and feelings is boring.

I agree with this, the whole only see her twice a week rule sounds really dumb and childish. What if you bump into her at the Metro and it is the third time that week, do you jump on the tracks to avoid the third visit????

I don't miss being single so many mind games!

07-06-2010, 10:23 PM	#7
SBXVII Franchise Player Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Virginia Posts: 7,766	Re: Advice On Women Thread. 12th, I think it all boils down to you and how your approaching life and relationships. I always walked into a relationship as if this could be my wife. I'm not saying your not but it actually seems like you did fall in love with the first girl and you knew the long distant relationship would be dificult and thought it would be easier to just break it off. Then you reverted it later. You built up some barriers(rules) to keep yourself from getting hurt again and unfortunately your still getting hurt. Now I'm going to get philosophical on you... although these relationships to you are/were awesome there is a reason the powers that be (god) is moving these women on. They must not be the one your meant to spend the rest of your life with. These might have simply been a trial run for you or they needed time away or you needed time away in order to mature in order to know what you want or to grow back together. Especially the first lady since now you know how you felt when she left. May e it's neither and someone more special will step into your life when you are ready to settle down but only you know. It doesn't sound like the second lady was going to be the women especially when you both set a bunch of rules to have to jump through. We all get hurt like this and it helps us grow and learn what we want in a women/wife. Without expierencing these things you'll never know what to look for. Lastly always keep in mind these relationships are helping you to learn your likes and dislikes about your future wife. You'll know when you have found them cause ther will be more traits you like in them and fewer dislikes. You will find they should be your best friend as well as companion. That's not to say you can't have the night out with the guys. Argeuments should be few and far between. And always remember you will get hurt now and then but it's how you deal with it and learn from it. Perhaps I haven't helped at all but to say maybe they were not the ones and be willing to take chances knowing your feeling might get hurt again instead of putting up such rediculous rules( barriers) to hinder the relationships. If you feel the first girl was all that and the bag of chips then let her know. Maybe she cut ties for you thinking you wouldn't be able to handle it.

07-06-2010, 10:33 PM	#8
724Skinsfan Playmaker Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Roanoke, VA Posts: 3,508	Re: Advice On Women Thread. 12th, are you sure you're not in love, or at least, want to be in love with this #2 lady? Sometimes the friends with benefits relationship doesn't work out because one of the two parties involved can't help but become emotionally attached. I'm not sure what to think about this person quite honestly. Is she just anchoring herself to you (someone?) for that emotional support? Being far away from home can be pretty lonely and leaving knowing someone is worried or simply missing you brings a degree of comfort. __________________ "I hope I'm getting better. I hope you haven't seen my best." - Jim Zorn

07-07-2010, 01:14 AM	#9
tryfuhl Gamebreaker Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Waldorf, MD Age: 42 Posts: 12,514	Re: Advice On Women Thread. How old are the chicks in question? And in comparison to yourself? Seems like a lot of young progressives in the area would give up nearly anything to travel. Maybe date a little older, even if it's older than you, someone that's gotten that mostly out of their system. If you don't know chick number 2 is actually leaving maybe bring that up in casual conversation to see how that situation is developing. The worst that can happen is you tell her that you enjoy being around her. If she is leaving just forget about it though. Plenty of other women out there, just takes some weeding out.

07-07-2010, 08:20 AM	#10
SolidSnake84 Playmaker Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Stephens City, VA Posts: 2,953	Re: Advice On Women Thread. I'm a little late to post for this, but i have good advice to give, or at least i think it's good and maybe it could help you. It's important to be patient and keep your spirits up when you are in the "waiting" period of finding that "right" girl that you will marry. Like someone else said, treating each relationship like she could be marriage material helps a lot. I have also attempted the friends with benefits thing, and while casual sex was nice, it was too risky because inevitably feelings develop with that sort of thing. Before i got with my wife, I dated a girl in 2002. Way back in the day. It had a lot of potential, and i thought that she could be marriage material. Long story short, she cheated on me. I attempted to rebound, and attempted a friends with benefits type deal in 2003, but i was shot mentally and was just playing with fire that feelings wouldn't develop. So it ended. I was in dating exile for almost 2 years. I couldnt get anything going and thought about hanging it up. Then after almost 3 years of nothing, i met my wife out of nowhere and just hit it off amazingly. Things have been seamless ever since. It's really true what they say, you will absolutley know when you find "the one". So don't give up buddy....your wife could be right around the corner __________________ Time to nut up or shut up

07-07-2010, 09:30 AM	#12
joethiesmanfan The Starter Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,163	Re: Advice On Women Thread. Hit it and ruuuuuuuuuuuun!!!! __________________ BP Bush/Palin 2012

07-06-2010, 09:09 PM	#2
saden1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Age: 46 Posts: 10,069	Re: Advice On Women Thread. 12th, you want to be friends with benefits, just friends, or do you want to take it to the next level? It isn't clear to me what it is that you want. __________________ "The Redskins have always suffered from chronic organizational deformities under Snyder." -Jenkins

07-07-2010, 09:33 AM	#13
dmek25 MVP Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: lancaster,pa Age: 64 Posts: 10,672	Re: Advice On Women Thread. do you want to get married? i guess thats a good place to start __________________ "It's better to be quiet and thought a fool than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt." courtesy of 53fan

07-07-2010, 10:12 AM	#14
firstdown Living Legend Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: chesapeake, va Age: 61 Posts: 15,817	Re: Advice On Women Thread. You guys think too much. Just let things ride and if you fall for her or she falls for your then it is what it is. If she moves away then thats a part of life but to try and live life by trying to control your emotions and feelings is boring.

Advice On Women Thread.

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