Cowboys, the Law, & Drugs

[jsarno]

Odd how we forgot Sean Taylor's woes (RIP). I love to take a shot at the Cowpatties, but we're not exactly clean.

By the way, you forgot another joke:

"Did you guys hear about the new Cowboys stadium? It's all dirt."
"They smoked all the grass, and snorted all the lines."

[sandtrapjack]

A guy walks into a Dayton bar with a Rotweiler by his side. The dog is wearing a Washington Redskins jersey and helmet, and is festooned with Redskins pom pons. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The big game begins with the Redskins receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at about the 30, and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if the Redskins score a touchdown?"

The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for 4 years."

[Slingin Sammy 33]

Originally Posted by sandtrapjack

A guy walks into a Dayton bar with a Rotweiler by his side. The dog is wearing a Washington Redskins jersey and helmet, and is festooned with Redskins pom pons. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The big game begins with the Redskins receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at about the 30, and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if the Redskins score a touchdown?"

The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for 4 years."

Very good LOL

[love them hogs]

Originally Posted by sandtrapjack

A guy walks into a Dayton bar with a Rotweiler by his side. The dog is wearing a dallas cowboys jersey and helmet, and is festooned with cowboys pom pons. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The game ends with the cowboys receiving a punt. They march down field, get stopped at about the 30, and kick a game winning field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if the cowboys win a playoff game?"

The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for 10 years."

This joke is much better.

[sandtrapjack]

How do you keep a Washington Redskin out of your front yard?
Paint a goal line across it.

What's the difference between the Washington Redskins and O.J. Simpson?
At least O.J. had a defense.

What does the Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?
Each can make 90,000 people scream "Jesus Christ".

[MPNRedskins]

Screw the Cowboys!!! Nuff said.

[skinsWill]

My favorite:
what do call a Texas drug ring?

The cowboys huddle!

[BlueBlaze]

Originally Posted by Slingin Sammy 33

This was discussed in another thread but it was a bit off-topic. I was curious, so I did a little digging and here's my list of Cowboys with run-ins with the law and drug suspensions (feel free to add if I left anyone out LOL):

Michael Irvin: need I say more, multiple incidents
Nate Newton: "That 175 lbs. of weed isn't mine"
Leon Lett: Multiple drug suspensions
Shante Carver: Alcohol abuse suspension
Clayton Holmes: Drug suspension
Quincy Carter: Released due to drug related issues
Bob Hayes: After retirement, distribution of cocaine
Larry Bethea: Convicted of grand larceny for theft of $ 64K....from his own mother.
Hollywood Henderson: While at Dallas Landry sent him to rehab. After retirement, crack, sexual assualt on teenage girls.
Rafael Septien: Aggravated child molestation
Dwayne Goodrich: Vehicular Manslaughter
Lance Rentzel: 1970, exposing himself to a 10 yr. old girl.
Pacman Jones: while his issues weren't done while a Cowboy, Jerry Jones didn't have to actively pursue him or give him a contract.

Let's not forget the 1983 "South America's" team drug investigation and the 1996 Training Camp "Party House".

I'll be real interested to see a response other than Dexter Manley's well documented issues. For the most part the Skins have kept a pretty clean house.

****************
Here's a few jokes, in the same theme that I thought were funny:

How do you get a Cowboy to stand up?
Say "Will the defendant please rise."

Four Cowboys are traveling down the road. Who is driving?
The police officer!

What does the operator say when a person calls 911 in Dallas?
Did you get the jersey number by any chance?

I think you forgot about.......

Dexter Manley
Kenny Wright
Albert Connell
Tony Peters
Barry Wilburn
Timmy Smith
Sean Taylor (RIP)
Frank Wychek
Fred Smoot

I'm pretty sure there are 1 or 2 that I missed.

[Monkeydad]

Blue Blaze...great name for a Dallas fan.

[DirtyLandry]

Cowboys fans hated TO...until TO joined thier team. You should see the dallas fans at camp light up like a fat kid at dunkin donuts when TO walks out. Those people are on thier knees for this guy and that tool box Tony Romo.
It was great seeing TO and the fans cry last year and I look forward to it again when they dont make the playoffs this year.

[firstdown]

Originally Posted by sandtrapjack

A guy walks into a Dayton bar with a Rotweiler by his side. The dog is wearing a Washington Redskins jersey and helmet, and is festooned with Redskins pom pons. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The big game begins with the Redskins receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped at about the 30, and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if the Redskins score a touchdown?"

The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for 4 years."

The punch line should read:

I don't know I got the dog after Washington stomped Dallas last year!

[gibbsisgod]

Originally Posted by BlueBlaze

I think you forgot about.......

Dexter Manley
Kenny Wright
Albert Connell
Tony Peters
Barry Wilburn
Timmy Smith
Sean Taylor (RIP)
Frank Wychek
Fred Smoot

I'm pretty sure there are 1 or 2 that I missed.

I don't think these were with us when they had their troubles. KW was in Cleveland(i think), Connell in NO and Smoot in Minn. I wouldn't count these just like I wouldn't count Pacmans. As far as the other guys, I'm not sure when they got into trouble

[sandtrapjack]

What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill?
You can still get 4 quarters out of a dollar!

What do the Redskins and possums have in common?
Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?
A thief!

Why was Jim Zorn upset when the Redskins playbook was stolen?
He wasn't finished coloring in it yet!

[MTK]

These are getting dumb now.

[BlueBlaze]

Originally Posted by DirtyLandry

Cowboys fans hated TO...until TO joined thier team. You should see the dallas fans at camp light up like a fat kid at dunkin donuts when TO walks out.

I know exactly what you mean. Your fan base did the same thing for Deion Sanders. At least Dallas got a quality player out of the deal. Your boys got OUR sloppy seconds. LOL!!