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04-29-2004, 12:57 PM
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#1 |
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The Starter
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: 36.28 x 76.22
Age: 72
Posts: 1,812
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Tuna???
I found this over on HailRedskins.com.
Top Stories - Global Associated News Bill Parcells Arrested On Multiple Charges April 29, 2004 Bill Parcells was arrested for lewd conduct, shoplifting, and assault at Classy & Sassy ladies boutique, on Reid street. Authorities documented in a police report that Bill Parcells entered the Classy & Sassy boutique at approximately 11:15 a.m. After failing to emerge from a ladies dressing room stall, store clerks knocked on the door asking if he was 'ok' or needed assistance. Bill Parcells was then reported to have exited the dressing room wearing high heel shoes, women's thong underwear and matching bra along with a dress wrapped around his head as a hat. Bill Parcells allegedly began dancing and skipping around the store shouting "I'm a pretty princess" over and over, according to witness reports. When asked by the manager to leave the store, Bill Parcells squatted in the front lobby and defecated on the floor. He then picked up his feces with his hand, took a bite, and asked store patrons if they wanted a bite of his cake to celebrate his birthday. Clearly becoming a threat to others, one of the female clerks tackled Bill Parcells, and with the assistance of two other women he was restrained until police arrived at the scene. Mary Smith, one of the store clerks told UJ reporters, "I only weigh 105 pounds and didn't think I could tackle him, but he went down really easily. He's very weak, and very disturbed." Initial toxicology reports indicate that Bill Parcells was high on a mixture of narcotics and prescription drugs at the time of the incident. Results of a psychological exam to determine if he will face possible jail time or be institutionalized are pending. For more information about this story & source details, please visit : Global Associated News -- source details and information
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'37, '42, '83, '88, '92. Championship! |
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04-29-2004, 01:21 PM
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#2 |
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Pro Bowl
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Age: 53
Posts: 5,006
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It's a hoax.. Global Associated News is a known farce.. They were the ones floating the Vick-gay "announcement" a couple weeks back.
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04-29-2004, 01:45 PM
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#3 |
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Thank You, Sean.
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Gaithersburg, MD
Age: 38
Posts: 7,506
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Honestly, even as a Redskin fan, thats not funny. What a stupid article.
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04-29-2004, 01:48 PM
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#4 |
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Pro Bowl
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: New Jersey
Age: 42
Posts: 5,453
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Yea thats pretty stupid, None of us like the cowboys, and im sure plenty of people dont even like Parcells. But either way, hes changed the NFL, will be a Hall of Fame coach and if you were going to make up a scandle about him you should atleast make it seem realistic. Like, 'Tuna drownds in fishing accident' or somethign corny like that, heh
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"I'm used to winning, coming from the University of Miami. " Clinton Portis |
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04-29-2004, 02:47 PM
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#5 |
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Special Teams
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 473
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I dunno...its kinda funny.
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04-29-2004, 02:55 PM
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#6 |
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Playmaker
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Richmond, VA
Age: 43
Posts: 3,812
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I stopped reading after the first paragraph cuz I figured it was a joke but part of me thought it'd be kinda funny if he was caught trying on womens clothing.
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04-29-2004, 02:56 PM
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#7 |
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Playmaker
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Richmond, VA
Age: 43
Posts: 3,812
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plus after reading the rest of it, i seriously doubt one women could tackle a big son of a gun like parcells. unless of course she went for a chop block or something.
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04-29-2004, 03:11 PM
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#8 |
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The Starter
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: San Clemente CA
Age: 50
Posts: 2,390
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What the hell was that?? I'm sure. Like B.P would pull a Wynona Rider! Keep dreaming.
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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin |
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04-29-2004, 03:29 PM
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#9 |
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The Starter
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: San Clemente CA
Age: 50
Posts: 2,390
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Did you guy's know that the Pope want's Mel Gibson as his predecessor? Since we were talking such B.S! I thought I should throw that one out there!
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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin |
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04-29-2004, 03:37 PM
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#10 |
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Puppy Kicker
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Arlington, Virginia
Age: 41
Posts: 8,341
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Mel Gibson is too conservative, even for the pope.
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04-29-2004, 05:13 PM
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#11 |
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\m/
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NY
Age: 51
Posts: 99,336
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yawn
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04-29-2004, 05:16 PM
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#12 |
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Camp Scrub
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Inwood, WV
Posts: 11
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Come on, guys! That was very funny! And the reason why is that it is so far fetched, it would take a complete and total idiot to believe it. Do you believe anything that you see on the cover of that black and white publication, Weekly World News? I didn't think so. It would be far worse to come up with something more realistic, b/c then some people might believe it. Parcells is such a hard ass and a disciplinarian, this is a complete farce. It also continues the Cowboys tradition of drug use.
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04-29-2004, 05:24 PM
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#13 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: sparta, new jersey [ northern jersey ]
Age: 59
Posts: 3,097
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I have to laugh.
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04-29-2004, 05:29 PM
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#14 |
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\m/
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: NY
Age: 51
Posts: 99,336
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04-29-2004, 07:56 PM
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#15 |
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Playmaker
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 3,807
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It would be believable if it was Troy Aikman instead.
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