Warpath  

Home | Forums | Donate | Shop




Go Back   Warpath > Off-Topic Discussion > Parking Lot


AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Parking Lot


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-15-2022, 09:12 AM   #61
sdskinsfan2001
Hakuna Matata
 
sdskinsfan2001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mount Pleasant, South Carolina
Age: 39
Posts: 14,525
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mredskins View Post
AITAH:

Wonderful youth sports.

Its hockey try out season (worst time of the year).

This past Monday and Tuesday was the u14 try outs. A top middle and bottom team was selected. The majority of the kids in our program have skated at this club for a number of years. I say this because the director and all the coaches know the majority of the kids very well, there are no parent coaches.

Rewind 2 weeks ago the director of the club calls me and ask if my son and another boy would like to come out for a private skate with some other boys looking to join our club to build a top team. At the 14u level we are very thin especially when it comes to top talent.

The new coach evaluates my son and the other boy over two private skates held in the weeks leading up to official try outs. They come back to me and say your son and the other boy are on the team but please keep this quiet as we are still evaluating others. I said sure fine, not a problem.

Of course during the whole process, parents are constantly asking do you know anything what is going on etc etc...rumor mill. I just stay quiet.

I say there were 4 other OG club members that had a potential to land on this team, the top coach saw them skate at 4 events pre skate 1 pre skate 2 try out 1 and try out 2, i recommend all 4 and said they had been loyal to the program and deserved a opportunity to play on the top team.

The new coach of the top team after try outs picked one of the 4.

Well one of the 4 that didn't make is a fairly close friend to me. He found out the team was being assembled prior to official try outs and that my son had already been chosen prior to try outs. Well all hell breaks out and he is so mad at me. I went back to him and said look they asked me not to say anything and even if i had told him it made no difference they had no interest in his son at that level. I endorsed his son numerous times through the process his son skated in front of the top coach 4 different sessions. His son has been in the program for 4 years, they know his kid very well he didn't make the cut.

So am I the asshole here? or is this guy just pissed off his kid is on a lower team and is scapegoating me for his angry.

I do agree with him it is shitty when they do backdoor try outs and stuff but i also realize in order for this club to have a top team it was going to need verbal commitments from outside top players in order to pull this off, those top kids could go anywhere and all clubs try out at the same time.

If i reverse the clock; me telling him does nothing to help his kid; if anything it probably pisses him off in that moment plus makes his kid feel bad he was not being chosen. I apologized to him and he just basically blew me off. Good grief Charlie Brown.
Definitely not the asshole here. The club put you in a tough place. You're right, you telling him about your kid being given a pre-tryout spot would have no impact on his kid making it. Clearly, the coach thinks your son is better than him, so its not like you bumped him out of a spot. It was never his spot to begin with. Hopefully he gets over it.
__________________
https://linktr.ee/summo13

Acts 16:31: Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.
sdskinsfan2001 is offline   Reply With Quote

Advertisements
Old 04-15-2022, 09:36 AM   #62
mredskins
MVP
 
mredskins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 11,363
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sdskinsfan2001 View Post
Definitely not the asshole here. The club put you in a tough place. You're right, you telling him about your kid being given a pre-tryout spot would have no impact on his kid making it. Clearly, the coach thinks your son is better than him, so its not like you bumped him out of a spot. It was never his spot to begin with. Hopefully he gets over it.
Yeah, it sucks. he is a very nice and i value his friendship. next year this time they easily all could be on the same team again, it goes in cycles.
__________________
When life gives you paper jams, turn them into paper footballs!
mredskins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2022, 09:53 AM   #63
sdskinsfan2001
Hakuna Matata
 
sdskinsfan2001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mount Pleasant, South Carolina
Age: 39
Posts: 14,525
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mredskins View Post
Yeah, it sucks. he is a very nice and i value his friendship. next year this time they easily all could be on the same team again, it goes in cycles.
I would hope after a couple weeks he cools down and you can have a discussion about what happened.
__________________
https://linktr.ee/summo13

Acts 16:31: Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.
sdskinsfan2001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2022, 10:35 AM   #64
mredskins
MVP
 
mredskins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 11,363
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sdskinsfan2001 View Post
I would hope after a couple weeks he cools down and you can have a discussion about what happened.
yeah i just left it with a apology and said if you like to talk be happy to do so

thanks for responding
__________________
When life gives you paper jams, turn them into paper footballs!
mredskins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2022, 12:44 PM   #65
Giantone
MVP
 
Giantone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 11,986
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mredskins View Post
yeah i just left it with a apology and said if you like to talk be happy to do so

thanks for responding
Youth Sports for Parents Sucks!


LOL, No , you're not the asshole here. First can I say I do not have a son and never played Hockey in my Life. I do however have three daughters who all played Soccer ,one at a pretty high level,she has 2 caps.(US Women's Indoor National team). Parents sometimes lack the objectivity in addressing their own children's ability. I say this not to be funny but in honesty, out of three girls one was very good ,one was decent , one was down right bad. It gave me perspective in what my kids wanted and they all did the same thing but wanted different things out of it. We, my Wife and I got the same treatment as you are now getting because we took our Daughter over to VA from Maryland to play. It was a move as parents we decided to do with her input because the situation(Coaching , teammates etc) was just better for our Daughter and that's what we had to live with ,didn't lose any sleep over it. I could go on but you get the drift,good luck!
__________________
....DISCLAIMER: All of my posts/threads are my expressed typed opinion and the reader is not to assume these comments are absolute fact, law, or truth unless otherwise stated in said post/thread.
Giantone is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2022, 01:24 PM   #66
BaltimoreSkins
Playmaker
 
BaltimoreSkins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Parkton, MD
Posts: 4,108
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mredskins View Post
AITAH:

Wonderful youth sports.

Its hockey try out season (worst time of the year).

This past Monday and Tuesday was the u14 try outs. A top middle and bottom team was selected. The majority of the kids in our program have skated at this club for a number of years. I say this because the director and all the coaches know the majority of the kids very well, there are no parent coaches.

Rewind 2 weeks ago the director of the club calls me and ask if my son and another boy would like to come out for a private skate with some other boys looking to join our club to build a top team. At the 14u level we are very thin especially when it comes to top talent.

The new coach evaluates my son and the other boy over two private skates held in the weeks leading up to official try outs. They come back to me and say your son and the other boy are on the team but please keep this quiet as we are still evaluating others. I said sure fine, not a problem.

Of course during the whole process, parents are constantly asking do you know anything what is going on etc etc...rumor mill. I just stay quiet.

I say there were 4 other OG club members that had a potential to land on this team, the top coach saw them skate at 4 events pre skate 1 pre skate 2 try out 1 and try out 2, i recommend all 4 and said they had been loyal to the program and deserved a opportunity to play on the top team.

The new coach of the top team after try outs picked one of the 4.

Well one of the 4 that didn't make is a fairly close friend to me. He found out the team was being assembled prior to official try outs and that my son had already been chosen prior to try outs. Well all hell breaks out and he is so mad at me. I went back to him and said look they asked me not to say anything and even if i had told him it made no difference they had no interest in his son at that level. I endorsed his son numerous times through the process his son skated in front of the top coach 4 different sessions. His son has been in the program for 4 years, they know his kid very well he didn't make the cut.

So am I the asshole here? or is this guy just pissed off his kid is on a lower team and is scapegoating me for his angry.

I do agree with him it is shitty when they do backdoor try outs and stuff but i also realize in order for this club to have a top team it was going to need verbal commitments from outside top players in order to pull this off, those top kids could go anywhere and all clubs try out at the same time.

If i reverse the clock; me telling him does nothing to help his kid; if anything it probably pisses him off in that moment plus makes his kid feel bad he was not being chosen. I apologized to him and he just basically blew me off. Good grief Charlie Brown.

No your sonís club are the assholes for putting kids through fake tryouts.
__________________
Washington Commanders, The Pee Pole's Team!
BaltimoreSkins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2022, 01:30 PM   #67
mredskins
MVP
 
mredskins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 11,363
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giantone View Post
Youth Sports for Parents Sucks!


LOL, No , you're not the asshole here. First can I say I do not have a son and never played Hockey in my Life. I do however have three daughters who all played Soccer ,one at a pretty high level,she has 2 caps.(US Women's Indoor National team). Parents sometimes lack the objectivity in addressing their own children's ability. I say this not to be funny but in honesty, out of three girls one was very good ,one was decent , one was down right bad. It gave me perspective in what my kids wanted and they all did the same thing but wanted different things out of it. We, my Wife and I got the same treatment as you are now getting because we took our Daughter over to VA from Maryland to play. It was a move as parents we decided to do with her input because the situation(Coaching , teammates etc) was just better for our Daughter and that's what we had to live with ,didn't lose any sleep over it. I could go on but you get the drift,good luck!
Yeah it does suck, my son and daughter have both been on the short side of the stick. I have learned lets get over the drama of not making the team hoped for and focus on the team we made and how to get better. Thebest rule you can teach yourself and your children is its not fair, rarely is life fair.

Also and you touched on it your child and yourself need to embrace both their strengths and weakness, if you are solid A player go play A and enjoy the sport.
__________________
When life gives you paper jams, turn them into paper footballs!
mredskins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2022, 03:18 PM   #68
SunnySide
Playmaker
 
SunnySide's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 3,686
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

Not the asshole to the other dad or his kid. As a kid who grew up playing youth hockey .. so many try outs, levels and politics. Me and 2 friends used the "carpool" excuse to go up together through the years.

Slight breach of protocol to tell the other dad what the Director told you in confidence to not tell anyone else.


edit -- my funnest years were when I was one of the best players in a lower level, skating around kids who just started, scoring hatties. Next year moved to upper house hockey and I was the newbie with guys skating circles around me, moved from wing to 3rd D pairing and saw little ice time. That was a shitty year.

Kid and his dad will have fun in the B league.
SunnySide is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2022, 02:44 PM   #69
SunnySide
Playmaker
 
SunnySide's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 3,686
Re: AITAH: Am I the A**hole Here?

edit delete

Last edited by SunnySide; 08-15-2022 at 10:36 AM.
SunnySide is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:52 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
We have no official affiliation with the Washington Commanders or the NFL.
Page generated in 0.17503 seconds with 11 queries