The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition

BrudLee · 09-21-2006, 02:14 PM

Boy, the Warpath Power Poll™ can’t leave you guys alone for a minute.

You’ll have to excuse the absence last week. As dedicated as I’ve resolved to be in writing this column, sometimes the inevitabilities of life will place great hurdles in our paths. Many obstacles cannot be overcome, and so you live with them. For the purposes of the board, this one cost me a column. I share your grief, but we all must move on.

Engrossed though I have been in my own personal life, I have been made aware that most of the NFL is playing football these days. You may also be aware that the Redskins aren’t necessarily on that particular list of teams. I think I speak for all of you armchair intellectuals out there when I say, “Why do we have an inverse relationship between financial burden and cognitive capabilities on our coaching staff?”

Maybe I should explain for the Eagles’ fans still reading. We have a coaching staff that, this year alone, will “earn” roughly double the original purchase price of the Atlanta Falcons just 41 years ago. Given that exorbitant figure, one would think they would have mastered the intricacies of pass protection, or the nuances of a four-man pass rush. One would think that they’d be able to figure out what the hell is going on.

One would be wrong, now, wouldn’t one?

Most of us fall into two categories as football fans – those who oversimplify the game (“Just tackle that sumbitch!”), and those who overcomplicate the game (“The pass rush was completely nullified by the slot receiver’s motion, which gave the weakside linebacker short zone responsibility during a 2nd and 4-7 yard play-action likelihood.”). I am cursed to fall into both categories, depending entirely upon my alcohol intake. Therefore, I feel all your pain. Quoth Al Davis, “Just win, baby.”

And now, your Warpath Power Poll™!

Indianapolis Colts – 400 passing yards in their week two victory over the Texans. If only their quarterback could come out of his shell, he'd be a superstar. Seriously, Peyton Manning is on TV more often than static and dust.
Cincinnati Bengals – As long as Carson Palmer remains upright and the rest of the team can stay out of jail, they’ll be fine. Here’s a question – why doesn’t the team just keep a defense attorney on the coaching staff. It may end up being cheaper that way.
San Diego Chargers – Yes, they’ve played two of the worst teams in the league thus far. So I don’t expect the team to maintain the #2 scoring offense and the #3 scoring defense. It’s still a sweet stat.
Chicago Bears – Rex Grossman has thrown for more touchdowns in the past two weeks than he had in his career to date. Bemoan the quality of his competition all you like, but both game were in his division, so he’s going to get yet another couple of bites at the stat-inflating apple.
Baltimore Ravens – The Ravens defense has scored more points than they have allowed. To me, that seems like an important point.
Jacksonville Jaguars – Statistically, this team isn’t the least bit scary. The QB has twice as many interceptions as touchdowns, the RB is right on schedule for a season ending knee injury, and the best receiver on the team is in his second year of playing the position. Frankly, Jaguars football is dull. And scary. Dull and scary.
Atlanta Falcons – Maybe you’re reaching a little deep when the new kicker on the team entered the league the year after Joe Gibbs did. The first time. Welcome home, Morten Andersen.
Seattle Seahawks – Everyone who drafted Shaun Alexander ahead of LT or LJ raise your hand. Now exit the building.
New England Patriots – The starting WRs for the Pats consist of a third-string castoff from run-oriented San Diego, and the team’s former nickel back. Still, anyone feel like betting against them? Didn’t think so.
New York Giants – Are the G-men ranked a little high? Probably, but until Eli achieves endorsement equlity with his brother, I’m keeping a candle in my window.
Minnesota Vikings – Power running and mistake-free QB play make for genius coaches. Brad Childress, you’ve been nominated for the Brian Billick award for most fortunate situation.
Pittsburgh Steelers – The EA Head Coach curse is apparently passed on to the starting QB. Just for you curse trackers out there.
Philadelphia Eagles – The offense looks phenomenal, but a depleted pass rush and a nicked secondary with make for me betting a lot of “Overs”.
Dallas Cowboys – Cincinnati Bengals starting strongside linebacker David Pollack will miss the rest of the season with a broken neck. With more on the injury front, we take you live to Dallas, for Terrell Owens’ third press conference during a bye week about the hairline fracture in his finger.
Denver Broncos – On the NASDAQ, stock in Jake Plummer continues to drop, given his 38.6 QB rating, and the fact that first rounder Jay Cutler is licking his chops on the bench right now.
New Orleans Saints – Reggie Bush leads this team in receptions, and the league in third down receptions. All in all, a good pickup for the Saints, according to my NFL Guide to Understatements.
Arizona Cardinals – Perhaps more impressive than beating the Niners in week 1 was not embarassing themselves aginst the Seahawks in week 2 – they held Alexander o under 100 yards and scoreless against the Cards for the first time since 2004.
San Francisco 49ers – Larry Allen has bad knees?!? How did we not see that coming?!?!?!
Buffalo Bills – J.P. Losman threw for a mere 83 yards in his victory against the Dolphins last week, which begs the question: How much of an upgrade would he be over Brunell?
Carolina Panthers – How much of a pickup could Keyshawn Johnson be if he’s this ineffective as a number one WR?
Washington Redskins – Having already upbraided the team for it’s lackluster play, I’ve decided to, instead, share with a Warpath Power Poll™ exclusive week One pre-game interview from FedEx Field with celeb-fan and Redskins employee –Tom Cruise!!!
WPP: Thanks for taking the time to talk with us. I’m sure you’re deluged with interview requests.
TC: Not really, anymore, but you’re welcome.
WPP: How does it feel attending a Monday Night game here in FedEx Field?
TC: Well, I’ve always loved football – so has Katie – and Dan has been great to us lately. I’m really looking forward to seeing the Skins do their stuff, you know?
WPP: Speaking of Katie, your fiancee, who is that baby’s father?
TC: This interview is over.
St. Louis Rams – Beating the Broncos in Week One? Good. Losing to the Niners in Week Two? Schizophrenic.
New York Jets – No real football comment here. I’d just like to point out that “Mangini” was my nickname for the little tuck dance that “Buffalo Bill” did in Silence of the Lambs.
Kansas City Chiefs – Head coach Herman Edwards was asked about how his offensive philosophy differed from previous Chiefs’ teams:"They tried to outscore everybody. My style is not that way. It's time to change." I wish I made that up, but I didn’t.
Miami Dolphins – While Drew Brees is undefeated and Daunte Culpepper looks like he couldn’t run to his left if his life depended on it, I’d like to remind everyone that the Dolphins selected Culpepper over Brees because of injury concerns.
Cleveland Browns – This week’s game against the Ravens is important for many reasons, not the least of which is Kellen Winslow II’s attempt to set a career mark for games played in a season at three.
Detroit Lions – The Lions are 0-2 with a punchless offense and a pass defense that got lit up by the Bears. Naturally, talks a re underway to extend Matt Millen’s contract.
Tampa Bay Bucanneers – Jon Gruden’s blood is boiling. Literally. On Tuesday, he cut himself shaving and it sounded like a teakettle.
Houston Texans – Let’s see… no rushing touchdowns, leading rusher has 57 yards in two games… probably not rethinking that first overall pick at all.
Green Bay Packers – Signing Koren Robinson was interesting. How many reps are you going to givwe a guy who will undoubtedly be suspended in the coming weeks?
Tennessee Titans – The unquestioned starter on this team has no touchdowns and four picks. The number two quarterback was deemed a “three-year project” by most scouts. There is no number three. Ladies and gentlemen, your Tennessee Titans!
Oakland Raiders – Wide Receiver Randy Moss has said that “It's crazy around here, man… I'm just not thrilled with the way things are going on around here.” If Randy Moss is the voice of reason, things are way the hell off the tracks.

gibbsisgod · 09-21-2006, 02:18 PM

That TC wasn't very nice to you Brud! Doesn't he know that you are a friggin genius?

GhettoDogAllStars · 09-21-2006, 02:19 PM

"...one would think they would have mastered the intricacies of ass protection..."

ass protection

(insert peter griffin laugh)

BrudLee · 09-21-2006, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GhettoDogAllStars

"...one would think they would have mastered the intricacies of ass protection..."

ass protection

(insert peter griffin laugh)

Teach me to post without proofreading, will ya!?!

(SMACK!)

GhettoDogAllStars · 09-21-2006, 02:26 PM

btw...good work on the article brud

BDBohnzie · 09-21-2006, 04:11 PM

amusing as always...

JWsleep · 09-21-2006, 04:19 PM

Buffalo Bill's tuck dance? lol.

Friggin' SUPER genius?

5RINGS · 09-21-2006, 05:51 PM

Thanks for doing a column during what must be a terribly hard time for you.

My Condolences.

hooskins · 09-21-2006, 07:21 PM

5RINGS, you front like your a nice opposing fan, but you are just here to rub it in and get a laugh out of it. I don't give a shit if you rub it in, but just have the balls to admit that you are doing it, and don't give me that "I am just asking a honest question" bullshit. You are a dick.

I can't believe I am saying this but your worst than Giantone.

That Guy · 09-21-2006, 08:27 PM

you forgot to mention the amazing mario williams 3 tackles in the last two games

and best regards.

BrudLee · 09-21-2006, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hooskins

5RINGS, you front like your a nice opposing fan, but you are just here to rub it in and get a laugh out of it. I don't give a shit if you rub it in, but just have the balls to admit that you are doing it, and don't give me that "I am just asking a honest question" bullshit. You are a dick.

I can't believe I am saying this but your worst than Giantone.

5RINGS is just fine. He's done nothing to merit any scorn or derision.

hooskins · 09-21-2006, 09:03 PM

My apologies, I misunderstood the reasoning behind those statements.

SKINSnCANES · 09-21-2006, 11:01 PM

that quote by herman edwards is priceless...its seems like something spurrier would say, somehow spurrier could reason that winning isnt about scoring more pts...

BrudLee · 09-22-2006, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SKINSnCANES

that quote by herman edwards is priceless...its seems like something spurrier would say, somehow spurrier could reason that winning isnt about scoring more pts...

That was truly rich, wasn't it?

NAVYSKINSFAN · 10-12-2006, 10:20 AM

Is this coming back? I really enojyed your work

09-21-2006, 02:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
BrudLee Moderates for the Veteran Minimum Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Rehoboth Beach, DE Posts: 3,527	The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition Boy, the Warpath Power Poll™ can’t leave you guys alone for a minute. You’ll have to excuse the absence last week. As dedicated as I’ve resolved to be in writing this column, sometimes the inevitabilities of life will place great hurdles in our paths. Many obstacles cannot be overcome, and so you live with them. For the purposes of the board, this one cost me a column. I share your grief, but we all must move on. Engrossed though I have been in my own personal life, I have been made aware that most of the NFL is playing football these days. You may also be aware that the Redskins aren’t necessarily on that particular list of teams. I think I speak for all of you armchair intellectuals out there when I say, “Why do we have an inverse relationship between financial burden and cognitive capabilities on our coaching staff?” Maybe I should explain for the Eagles’ fans still reading. We have a coaching staff that, this year alone, will “earn” roughly double the original purchase price of the Atlanta Falcons just 41 years ago. Given that exorbitant figure, one would think they would have mastered the intricacies of pass protection, or the nuances of a four-man pass rush. One would think that they’d be able to figure out what the hell is going on. One would be wrong, now, wouldn’t one? Most of us fall into two categories as football fans – those who oversimplify the game (“Just tackle that sumbitch!”), and those who overcomplicate the game (“The pass rush was completely nullified by the slot receiver’s motion, which gave the weakside linebacker short zone responsibility during a 2nd and 4-7 yard play-action likelihood.”). I am cursed to fall into both categories, depending entirely upon my alcohol intake. Therefore, I feel all your pain. Quoth Al Davis, “Just win, baby.” And now, your Warpath Power Poll™! Indianapolis Colts – 400 passing yards in their week two victory over the Texans. If only their quarterback could come out of his shell, he'd be a superstar. Seriously, Peyton Manning is on TV more often than static and dust. Cincinnati Bengals – As long as Carson Palmer remains upright and the rest of the team can stay out of jail, they’ll be fine. Here’s a question – why doesn’t the team just keep a defense attorney on the coaching staff. It may end up being cheaper that way. San Diego Chargers – Yes, they’ve played two of the worst teams in the league thus far. So I don’t expect the team to maintain the #2 scoring offense and the #3 scoring defense. It’s still a sweet stat. Chicago Bears – Rex Grossman has thrown for more touchdowns in the past two weeks than he had in his career to date. Bemoan the quality of his competition all you like, but both game were in his division, so he’s going to get yet another couple of bites at the stat-inflating apple. Baltimore Ravens – The Ravens defense has scored more points than they have allowed. To me, that seems like an important point. Jacksonville Jaguars – Statistically, this team isn’t the least bit scary. The QB has twice as many interceptions as touchdowns, the RB is right on schedule for a season ending knee injury, and the best receiver on the team is in his second year of playing the position. Frankly, Jaguars football is dull. And scary. Dull and scary. Atlanta Falcons – Maybe you’re reaching a little deep when the new kicker on the team entered the league the year after Joe Gibbs did. The first time. Welcome home, Morten Andersen. Seattle Seahawks – Everyone who drafted Shaun Alexander ahead of LT or LJ raise your hand. Now exit the building. New England Patriots – The starting WRs for the Pats consist of a third-string castoff from run-oriented San Diego, and the team’s former nickel back. Still, anyone feel like betting against them? Didn’t think so. New York Giants – Are the G-men ranked a little high? Probably, but until Eli achieves endorsement equlity with his brother, I’m keeping a candle in my window. Minnesota Vikings – Power running and mistake-free QB play make for genius coaches. Brad Childress, you’ve been nominated for the Brian Billick award for most fortunate situation. Pittsburgh Steelers – The EA Head Coach curse is apparently passed on to the starting QB. Just for you curse trackers out there. Philadelphia Eagles – The offense looks phenomenal, but a depleted pass rush and a nicked secondary with make for me betting a lot of “Overs”. Dallas Cowboys – Cincinnati Bengals starting strongside linebacker David Pollack will miss the rest of the season with a broken neck. With more on the injury front, we take you live to Dallas, for Terrell Owens’ third press conference during a bye week about the hairline fracture in his finger. Denver Broncos – On the NASDAQ, stock in Jake Plummer continues to drop, given his 38.6 QB rating, and the fact that first rounder Jay Cutler is licking his chops on the bench right now. New Orleans Saints – Reggie Bush leads this team in receptions, and the league in third down receptions. All in all, a good pickup for the Saints, according to my NFL Guide to Understatements. Arizona Cardinals – Perhaps more impressive than beating the Niners in week 1 was not embarassing themselves aginst the Seahawks in week 2 – they held Alexander o under 100 yards and scoreless against the Cards for the first time since 2004. San Francisco 49ers – Larry Allen has bad knees?!? How did we not see that coming?!?!?! Buffalo Bills – J.P. Losman threw for a mere 83 yards in his victory against the Dolphins last week, which begs the question: How much of an upgrade would he be over Brunell? Carolina Panthers – How much of a pickup could Keyshawn Johnson be if he’s this ineffective as a number one WR? Washington Redskins – Having already upbraided the team for it’s lackluster play, I’ve decided to, instead, share with a Warpath Power Poll™ exclusive week One pre-game interview from FedEx Field with celeb-fan and Redskins employee –Tom Cruise!!! WPP: Thanks for taking the time to talk with us. I’m sure you’re deluged with interview requests. TC: Not really, anymore, but you’re welcome. WPP: How does it feel attending a Monday Night game here in FedEx Field? TC: Well, I’ve always loved football – so has Katie – and Dan has been great to us lately. I’m really looking forward to seeing the Skins do their stuff, you know? WPP: Speaking of Katie, your fiancee, who is that baby’s father? TC: This interview is over. St. Louis Rams – Beating the Broncos in Week One? Good. Losing to the Niners in Week Two? Schizophrenic. New York Jets – No real football comment here. I’d just like to point out that “Mangini” was my nickname for the little tuck dance that “Buffalo Bill” did in Silence of the Lambs. Kansas City Chiefs – Head coach Herman Edwards was asked about how his offensive philosophy differed from previous Chiefs’ teams:"They tried to outscore everybody. My style is not that way. It's time to change." I wish I made that up, but I didn’t. Miami Dolphins – While Drew Brees is undefeated and Daunte Culpepper looks like he couldn’t run to his left if his life depended on it, I’d like to remind everyone that the Dolphins selected Culpepper over Brees because of injury concerns. Cleveland Browns – This week’s game against the Ravens is important for many reasons, not the least of which is Kellen Winslow II’s attempt to set a career mark for games played in a season at three. Detroit Lions – The Lions are 0-2 with a punchless offense and a pass defense that got lit up by the Bears. Naturally, talks a re underway to extend Matt Millen’s contract. Tampa Bay Bucanneers – Jon Gruden’s blood is boiling. Literally. On Tuesday, he cut himself shaving and it sounded like a teakettle. Houston Texans – Let’s see… no rushing touchdowns, leading rusher has 57 yards in two games… probably not rethinking that first overall pick at all. Green Bay Packers – Signing Koren Robinson was interesting. How many reps are you going to givwe a guy who will undoubtedly be suspended in the coming weeks? Tennessee Titans – The unquestioned starter on this team has no touchdowns and four picks. The number two quarterback was deemed a “three-year project” by most scouts. There is no number three. Ladies and gentlemen, your Tennessee Titans! Oakland Raiders – Wide Receiver Randy Moss has said that “It's crazy around here, man… I'm just not thrilled with the way things are going on around here.” If Randy Moss is the voice of reason, things are way the hell off the tracks. __________________ "Pound for pound, he's the best player I've ever seen. Unfortunately, he doesn't weigh enough."

09-21-2006, 02:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
gibbsisgod Playmaker Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Clearspring MD Posts: 3,182	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition That TC wasn't very nice to you Brud! Doesn't he know that you are a friggin genius? __________________ I think she's certainly Man enough............. (Hog1 supports this message)

09-21-2006, 02:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
GhettoDogAllStars The Starter Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Fort Collins Posts: 1,965	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition "...one would think they would have mastered the intricacies of ass protection..." ass protection (insert peter griffin laugh)

09-21-2006, 02:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
GhettoDogAllStars The Starter Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Fort Collins Posts: 1,965	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition btw...good work on the article brud

09-21-2006, 04:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
BDBohnzie Playmaker Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Frederick, MD Posts: 3,377	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition amusing as always... __________________ Bad Things man, I mean bad things... Lions players are going quit playing football and take their rightfull place in the Redskins players wives section of the stadium, because the Skins have just made them their B-I-itch! - Courtesy of Angry

09-21-2006, 04:19 PM	#7 (permalink)
JWsleep Propane and propane accessories Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 4,122	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition Buffalo Bill's tuck dance? lol. Friggin' SUPER genius? __________________ Hail from Houston!

09-21-2006, 05:51 PM	#8 (permalink)
5RINGS Closet Redskins Fan Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 520	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition Thanks for doing a column during what must be a terribly hard time for you. My Condolences. __________________ I am a complete and unabashed Romosexual.

09-21-2006, 07:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
hooskins the hypocrite hater Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chantilly, VA Posts: 5,509	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition 5RINGS, you front like your a nice opposing fan, but you are just here to rub it in and get a laugh out of it. I don't give a shit if you rub it in, but just have the balls to admit that you are doing it, and don't give me that "I am just asking a honest question" bullshit. You are a dick. I can't believe I am saying this but your worst than Giantone. __________________ "im pretty sure the people that work for that website hate liberals so much that even when they are driving they would make three rights before thinking about going left." -Duffman003

09-21-2006, 08:27 PM	#10 (permalink)
That Guy Gleaming Turds since 2004 Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Springfield, VA Posts: 13,844	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition you forgot to mention the amazing mario williams 3 tackles in the last two games and best regards. __________________ Who says shameless self promotion is stupid? oh yeah, that was me... Click For Tunes!

09-21-2006, 09:03 PM	#12 (permalink)
hooskins the hypocrite hater Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chantilly, VA Posts: 5,509	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition My apologies, I misunderstood the reasoning behind those statements. __________________ "im pretty sure the people that work for that website hate liberals so much that even when they are driving they would make three rights before thinking about going left." -Duffman003

09-21-2006, 11:01 PM	#13 (permalink)
SKINSnCANES Pro Bowl Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 5,185	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition that quote by herman edwards is priceless...its seems like something spurrier would say, somehow spurrier could reason that winning isnt about scoring more pts... __________________ "I'm used to winning, coming from the University of Miami. " Clinton Portis

10-12-2006, 10:20 AM	#15 (permalink)
NAVYSKINSFAN Special Teams Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Norfolk va Posts: 150	Re: The Warpath Power Poll™ Week Two "Sky is Falling" Edition Is this coming back? I really enojyed your work __________________ Only the strong survive! Just win baby! I'll make ya famous!

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