F...People who drag their feet when they walk

The worst is when you hold it open, and you become the door man all of a sudden. Like you opened the floodgates... then you start examining who's coming in, looking for the next potential victim you can pass the torch too...

Just like in traffic when you let one car in, and the next car trys to butt in too and you have to be like oh no you don't, the car behind me needs to let your ass in, I already did my good deed for the day.

The worst is when you hold it open, and you become the door man all of a sudden. Like you opened the floodgates... then you start examining who's coming in, looking for the next potential victim you can pass the torch too...

There... you... bald guy... I'm walking in, and your taking over.. sorry.
That used to happen to me everytime I went to church. Maybe that's why I hate organized religion now.
It's either that, or because my priest touched me. :(

OK, so I have another bathroom story for the guys. I'm up in the aforementioned private stall (the one a few pages back) and it JUST so happens that nature calls RIGHT between class changes here. So, I'm sitting down, waiting for nature to get out of my body and at least 4 students come in on separate occassions. One of them turns right around as he should, ANOTHER did that shit where he looks OVER the fucking stall, the next stands there for a couple minutes acting like he's blowing his nose and the LAST ONE actually stands there, doing that obnoxious, "Will you hurry up?!" yawn and starting making weird noises and shit. So I told him out loud, "The longer you hang around, the longer this is going to take."

yeah, i'm one of those doormen who seems to always be holding the door open for 3 minutes or 30 people, which ever comes first...

anyone know anything about the hover technique? i never heard of it until recently at work. i think its used by women, only

I had a summer job as a maintenance man when I was in college. Basically my job was to walk around two office building looking up for burned out light bulbs. I hated having to change the ones in the bathroom, because everytime someone would come in and just blow the place up. I was usually standing on a ladder with a 3' light buld bulb in my hands, so that made matters worse.
If the janitor or the lightbulb guy is in the bathroom, give him a few minutes before you duece it up.

Shiiiiiiiit. I need complete peace and tranquility in the bathroom before the beast will rear it's ugly head. If someone is in there, I'll be sitting until they leave. It's not a choice, it's built into my genes.

if you're an Out of the Closet dumper, people tend to not interrupt. When everyone sees you carrying sports illustrated in there, they know. Even though I usually play tetris or some other phone game, I make sure they see me with the magazine, just so they know....

I'm just going to start putting up a poster on the front door saying that I'm dropping bombs like Hiroshima.

And I swear to god if someone comes in there rapping after reading that I'm going to shit on THEM.

I'm just going to start putting up a poster on the front door saying that I'm dropping bombs like Hiroshima.

And I swear to god if someone comes in there rapping after reading that I'm going to shit on THEM.

hahhahhahahaah