If You Were President.

yeah, he can, sorry.

I don't know what the problem is with the media giants putting their bias into pop culture. That's the basis of free speech and free press. My first order is business is going to be the coolest President for the day ever. I would sit out on the front lawn like total trash and drink Keystone Light.

THEN I'd go inside and make some decisions. Creating custom teams USA and a custom team called "The World" in Madden, I would title each player a different country. Each player that I defeated would then be sent a box of Wheaties provocatively suggesting, "Better eat up if you wanna' hang with the big boys." Canada would be the punter.

After my tenth Keystone, I'd probably want to see some strippers so I'd smack my wife on the ass and tell her to make the call and to make me a sandwich while she was at it. If she refused, I'd remind her to call me Mr. President. The strippers should also refer to me as that as well.

Next, I would make some serious decisions about social security while soaked in Keystone and stripper sweat. Social security gets privatized while I'm in office and that translates to a lot of Keystone and strippers later in life.

Last thing I do before I leave my day as President is to rob the place blind and smack a Secret Service agent in the face because I could.


Dude, if you are president you can do better than keystone. Aim higher my man.

No, I'm President I can drink any damn beer I want.

The Secret Service would have shot you for that comment. :)

If I were President, first off I'd....

1) Change the National Anthem to Just a Gigolo (David Lee Roth style)
2) Make Redskin History a Standard Of Learning

then I'd do some real work and I'd.....

1) Eliminate federal tax for people making less than $25k/year and make those making up to 75k/year pay a flat rate (15%) and those making more than that pay a flat rate of 25% up to a maximum amount.
2) Make Welfare a temporary 12 to 24 month program.
3) Work on the legal industry's handling of frivolous lawsuits.
4) Increase funding for public education and provide an increase amount of attention on skill-type jobs. I really like the idea of doing away with 11th and 12th grade for anyone not interested in college but would rather learn a trade like electrician or plumbing.
5) Legalize everyone living in the United states effective immediately. This means you have to register to vote and register for Social Security. After about a 6 month period if you are in the country illegally you will be immediately deported back. the cost to send you back will come out of your pocket or you will work in some sort of government programs to payback the cost. During that time you can choose to undergo a legalization process (learning basic laws, language training, etc) in order to become a citizen.

And finally, I'd.....

1) Deport ArtMonkDrillz somewhere, anywhere.Most families making 25,000 or less do not pay federal ncome taxes. I like your idea about the 11 and 12th grades but I think dumping more money into the goverment schools is not going to help. I think its time we have alternative choices than goverment schools. I know I had the choice to send my daughter to private with allot of sacrifice but there are many who do not have the choice but to send there kids to failing public schools. If money was the problem then why can private schools cost less than what our goverment spends per child? If anything they could send the money back to the states and let each state decide what is best for their people.

1. No appointed officials. Everyone gets elected.
One of the biggest problems I see, is that the people who really matter are appointed (i.e.: the Presidential Cabinet and Justices). Justices would serve for probably 10 years (single term limit).

2. Shift power from the federal gov't to the states -- almost all of it. Like it was originally intended.

3. Respect the Constitution. Make the language less ambiguous.

4. Create a "people's army" which is not controlled by the federal gov't, but rather an assembly of state controlled militias. This army would serve to keep the federal gov't in check. If the federal gov't ever abused its power, it would have to answer to the people's army.

Legalize it.

1. No appointed officials. Everyone gets elected.
One of the biggest problems I see, is that the people who really matter are appointed (i.e.: the Presidential Cabinet and Justices). Justices would serve for probably 10 years (single term limit).

2. Shift power from the federal gov't to the states -- almost all of it. Like it was originally intended.

3. Respect the Constitution. Make the language less ambiguous.

4. Create a "people's army" which is not controlled by the federal gov't, but rather an assembly of state controlled militias. This army would serve to keep the federal gov't in check. If the federal gov't ever abused its power, it would have to answer to the people's army.
I like all of your ideas but the The presidents cabnet is kind of elected because we vote for a president and their ideas which will trickle down to who he appoints. If we elected them and we had a Rep. President an Dem cabnet he or she would never get anything accomplished and he or she would have a hard time even trusting his cabnet. I like some type of term limit on the Sup. Court but they too could not run for election because then special interest would push to have judges elected which would have their agenda. That happens some now but would be much worse if they had to run. The theory of not having term limits for them is to keep them from having an agenda and I don't think that is as true today as it was. I like the idea of turning the power back to the states.

Legalize it.
Don't criticize it.

If I were President, first off I'd....

1) Change the National Anthem to Just a Gigolo (David Lee Roth style)
2) Make Redskin History a Standard Of Learning

then I'd do some real work and I'd.....

1) Eliminate federal tax for people making less than $25k/year and make those making up to 75k/year pay a flat rate (15%) and those making more than that pay a flat rate of 25% up to a maximum amount.
2) Make Welfare a temporary 12 to 24 month program.
3) Work on the legal industry's handling of frivolous lawsuits.
4) Increase funding for public education and provide an increase amount of attention on skill-type jobs. I really like the idea of doing away with 11th and 12th grade for anyone not interested in college but would rather learn a trade like electrician or plumbing.
5) Legalize everyone living in the United states effective immediately. This means you have to register to vote and register for Social Security. After about a 6 month period if you are in the country illegally you will be immediately deported back. the cost to send you back will come out of your pocket or you will work in some sort of government programs to payback the cost. During that time you can choose to undergo a legalization process (learning basic laws, language training, etc) in order to become a citizen.

And finally, I'd.....

1) Deport ArtMonkDrillz somewhere, anywhere.


I like your ideas...the only problem with #5 is how do we determine the ones that were already here from the ones that will trample the border trying to get in on that idea...I'm also not sure that internment camps are a good idea haha

1. No appointed officials. Everyone gets elected.
One of the biggest problems I see, is that the people who really matter are appointed (i.e.: the Presidential Cabinet and Justices). Justices would serve for probably 10 years (single term limit).

2. Shift power from the federal gov't to the states -- almost all of it. Like it was originally intended.

3. Respect the Constitution. Make the language less ambiguous.

4. Create a "people's army" which is not controlled by the federal gov't, but rather an assembly of state controlled militias. This army would serve to keep the federal gov't in check. If the federal gov't ever abused its power, it would have to answer to the people's army.

kind of like a national guard that couldn't be called out by the prez?
Actually...lets just go ahead and do that to the original national guard.