Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[url=http://myespn.go.com/blogs/hashmarks/0-7-292/Man-vs--Bear.html]ESPN - Man vs. Bear - Hashmarks By Matt Mosley[/url]

Since things are slow right now I figured I'd post this. One of the questions man has pondered since the beginning of football has been answered: Can a kick returner, starting at his own end zone, get past a bear standing at the 50 yard line, and run all the way to the other end zone without the bear catching him?

Antwaan Randle El has answered the call.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

Yeah I saw that. I think it could be pretty close if the player somehow gets past the bear, but I would bet my money on the bear especially if it is a brown bear(Grizzly for example). Anyone who thinks a huge 900-1400 pound bear doesn't have agility just doesn't know anything about bears and what they are capable of. Brown bears are much faster than humans and they have the ability to hunt deer. A deer can outrun and maneuver a human by a very large margin therefore I say bet on the bear. It might not even be close at all now that I think about it.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

Straight line speed I'd give it to a bear, but the zig zagging factor, I'd give it to Randle El.

Pretty cool little video clip.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

Now thats funny. El better remember he just had that knee scoped and we need him this season.....I don't like his odds.

And attack the bear, good idea. I just think he forgot to mention he was going to attack with a .50 cal

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

The bear would throttle him.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

ARE would have him until he pulls up lame with a hamstring at the 5 yard line, then it's all bear.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

What if he muffs the kick?

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[quote=onlydarksets;449654]What if he muffs the kick?[/quote]

Then he turns into a appetizer......burp

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

I can't believe someone actually thinks they can outrun a bear. Maybe these guys think Chad Johnson actually beat a horse in a race. Straight line, zig-sag, back flips, whatever, the bear is going to maul you.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

holy waste of effing time

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

Well at least they didnt ask slow ass Rock, the bear would just have to put its arm out and trip him up, after that its all over.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[quote=saden1;449659]I can't believe someone actually thinks they can outrun a bear. Maybe these guys think Chad Johnson actually beat a horse in a race. Straight line, zig-sag, back flips, whatever, the bear is going to maul you.[/quote]


In all reality by the time the bear starts running fast hes got 40 yards to catch him. ARE wins.

and btw the most effective way to run from a bear is downhill....

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

Even if he can juke him he still has another 50+ yards of straight line running to do, with his back to the bear. That is when the bear will turn El into Grizzly Man.


I think Grizzly Man had better odds and a better bear handling strategy than Randle El does on this one.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

I can think of no better man to test this out than Pacman Jones. I say if he beats the bear let him back in the league. If not....

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[QUOTE=FRPLG;449673]I can think of no better man to test this out than Pacman Jones. I say if he beats the bear let him back in the league. If not....[/QUOTE]

That's hilarious

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[I]Question: What kind of bear is best?[/I]
That's a ridiculous question.
[I]False. Black Bear.[/I]
Well that's debatable, there are basically two schools of thought..
[I]Fact: Bears eat beets.[/I]
Oh..
[I]Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica![/I]

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

OMG............the off-season BLOWS

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[QUOTE=Paintrain;449650]ARE would have him until he pulls up lame with a hamstring at the 5 yard line, then it's all bear.[/QUOTE]

No doubt!:laughing-

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

I wrestled a bear back in the 80's when I was at a fesitval for $5.00 (my cost to get in the ring). It was not a hugh bear and I'm not very big but I did not even stand a chance. That bear knock me from one side of the ring to the next. After about a minute I gave up. I watched several guys get in the ring and it did not seem to matter how big the person the bear won everytime. I'm sure its illegal now days for people to do this with bears but it was declawed and had on a mussle.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

Chuck Norris could outrun the bear and then beat em up in the endzone.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

Sean Taylor would have ate the bear for breakfast and asked for seconds.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[quote=FRPLG;449673]I can think of no better man to test this out than Pacman Jones. I say if he beats the bear let him back in the league. If not....[/quote]

hahaa yes.

But in all reality bears are quite nimble and they can run faster. If the bear was hungry, and ARE had meat in his hand instead of a ball, he would die. The bear would charge, ARE would run towards him, they meet at the 25, 30ish, and ARE makes a cut, gets opens starts running, bear turns around and catches up and owns him at around the opponents 40, or 35.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[quote=BDBohnzie;449694][I]Question: What kind of bear is best?[/I]
That's a ridiculous question.
[I]False. Black Bear.[/I]
Well that's debatable, there are basically two schools of thought..
[I]Fact: Bears eat beets.[/I]
Oh..
[I]Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica![/I][/quote]

LOL exactly what I was thinking.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[quote=firstdown;449712]I wrestled a bear back in the 80's when I was at a fesitval for $5.00 (my cost to get in the ring). It was not a hugh bear and I'm not very big but I did not even stand a chance. That bear knock me from one side of the ring to the next. After about a minute I gave up. I watched several guys get in the ring and it did not seem to matter how big the person the bear won everytime. I'm sure its illegal now days for people to do this with bears but it was declawed and had on a mussle.[/quote]

That is kinda badass, but I am sure nowadays that has animal rights violation written all over it.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

ARE with a spear wins every time. Find a convenient pole vault mount. Call the bear dirty names until he charges you. Place blunt end of spear behind you in pole vault mount. Aim for his heart as he charges, which means low, and lift as he crashes into you. And then i hope you've been saved, because you're both going to meet jesus.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[QUOTE=Monksdown;449725]ARE with a spear wins every time. Find a convenient pole vault mount. Call the bear dirty names until he charges you. Place blunt end of spear behind you in pole vault mount. Aim for his heart as he charges, which means low, and lift as he crashes into you. And then i hope you've been saved, because you're both going to meet jesus.[/QUOTE]You just watched the movie The Edge with Anthony Hopkins, didn't you?

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[QUOTE=BDBohnzie;449694][I]Question: What kind of bear is best?[/I]
That's a ridiculous question.
[I]False. Black Bear.[/I]
Well that's debatable, there are basically two schools of thought..
[I]Fact: Bears eat beets.[/I]
Oh..
[I]Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica![/I][/QUOTE]Millions of people are affect my identity theft you know!!!

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[quote=ArtMonkDrillz;449727]You just watched the movie The Edge with Anthony Hopkins, didn't you?[/quote]

Not recently, but you did see to the heart of my argument. His wife was money....

Can't miss an Alec Baldwin movie.

Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear
 

[quote=chrisl4064;449666]In all reality by the time the bear starts running fast hes got 40 yards to catch him. ARE wins.

and btw the most effective way to run from a bear is downhill....[/quote]

This is an easy high school physics problem. If we know what the runner's and bear's acceleration are we can more accurately calculate how long it would take the bear to catch the runner. Here's the math if we make some assumptions along with the limited information we've been given.

Given:
[LIST][*]Assume constant acceleration of 0. We have to assume this because we don't have this information, we only have speed and the problem can't be solved accurately without the acceleration information.[*] Randle El (a.k.a. "The Foolish One") who runs 9.09 yards per seconds (he has 4.49s 40 time).[*]The Bear (a.k.a. "The Mauler") who runs 14.66 yards per seconds (30 mph = 14.66 y/s).[*]Assume it's a 100 yard straight-line race between "The Mauler" and "The Foolish One" who is running for his life (or was, may he RIP).[/LIST]
Result:
[LIST][*] Assuming they both start at the 1 yard line...after 4 seconds The Foolish One will be at the ~37.4 yard line, The Mauler will be at the ~59.6 yard line....ohh the horror![*]Assuming The Mauler started at 1 yard line and The Foolish One gets a head start at the 39 yard line...The Foolish One will get mauled Kevin Dyson style at the one yard line after ~6.68 seconds.[/LIST]

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, math doesn't lie. Even if you give The Foolish One decent acceleration, Vick/Hester speed, and a 30 yard head start he'd still get f*cked up before he scores a TD or reaches safety.