Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear

mooby · 05-22-2008, 08:22 PM

ESPN - Man vs. Bear - Hashmarks By Matt Mosley

Since things are slow right now I figured I'd post this. One of the questions man has pondered since the beginning of football has been answered: Can a kick returner, starting at his own end zone, get past a bear standing at the 50 yard line, and run all the way to the other end zone without the bear catching him?

Antwaan Randle El has answered the call.

wilsowilso · 05-22-2008, 08:49 PM

Yeah I saw that. I think it could be pretty close if the player somehow gets past the bear, but I would bet my money on the bear especially if it is a brown bear(Grizzly for example). Anyone who thinks a huge 900-1400 pound bear doesn't have agility just doesn't know anything about bears and what they are capable of. Brown bears are much faster than humans and they have the ability to hunt deer. A deer can outrun and maneuver a human by a very large margin therefore I say bet on the bear. It might not even be close at all now that I think about it.

GMScud · 05-22-2008, 08:53 PM

Straight line speed I'd give it to a bear, but the zig zagging factor, I'd give it to Randle El.

Pretty cool little video clip.

skinsfan_nn · 05-22-2008, 09:04 PM

Now thats funny. El better remember he just had that knee scoped and we need him this season.....I don't like his odds.

And attack the bear, good idea. I just think he forgot to mention he was going to attack with a .50 cal

prinzeofmoval · 05-22-2008, 09:10 PM

The bear would throttle him.

Paintrain · 05-22-2008, 09:32 PM

ARE would have him until he pulls up lame with a hamstring at the 5 yard line, then it's all bear.

Riggo44 · 05-23-2008, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paintrain

ARE would have him until he pulls up lame with a hamstring at the 5 yard line, then it's all bear.

No doubt!

onlydarksets · 05-22-2008, 09:57 PM

What if he muffs the kick?

skinsfan_nn · 05-22-2008, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlydarksets

What if he muffs the kick?

Then he turns into a appetizer......burp

saden1 · 05-22-2008, 10:24 PM

I can't believe someone actually thinks they can outrun a bear. Maybe these guys think Chad Johnson actually beat a horse in a race. Straight line, zig-sag, back flips, whatever, the bear is going to maul you.

chrisl4064 · 05-22-2008, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saden1

I can't believe someone actually thinks they can outrun a bear. Maybe these guys think Chad Johnson actually beat a horse in a race. Straight line, zig-sag, back flips, whatever, the bear is going to maul you.

In all reality by the time the bear starts running fast hes got 40 yards to catch him. ARE wins.

and btw the most effective way to run from a bear is downhill....

saden1 · 05-24-2008, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrisl4064

In all reality by the time the bear starts running fast hes got 40 yards to catch him. ARE wins.

and btw the most effective way to run from a bear is downhill....

This is an easy high school physics problem. If we know what the runner's and bear's acceleration are we can more accurately calculate how long it would take the bear to catch the runner. Here's the math if we make some assumptions along with the limited information we've been given.

Given:

Assume constant acceleration of 0. We have to assume this because we don't have this information, we only have speed and the problem can't be solved accurately without the acceleration information.
Randle El (a.k.a. "The Foolish One") who runs 9.09 yards per seconds (he has 4.49s 40 time).
The Bear (a.k.a. "The Mauler") who runs 14.66 yards per seconds (30 mph = 14.66 y/s).
Assume it's a 100 yard straight-line race between "The Mauler" and "The Foolish One" who is running for his life (or was, may he RIP).

Result:

Assuming they both start at the 1 yard line...after 4 seconds The Foolish One will be at the ~37.4 yard line, The Mauler will be at the ~59.6 yard line....ohh the horror!
Assuming The Mauler started at 1 yard line and The Foolish One gets a head start at the 39 yard line...The Foolish One will get mauled Kevin Dyson style at the one yard line after ~6.68 seconds.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, math doesn't lie. Even if you give The Foolish One decent acceleration, Vick/Hester speed, and a 30 yard head start he'd still get f*cked up before he scores a TD or reaches safety.

MTK · 05-22-2008, 10:43 PM

holy waste of effing time

chrisl4064 · 05-22-2008, 11:24 PM

Well at least they didnt ask slow ass Rock, the bear would just have to put its arm out and trip him up, after that its all over.

Skinny Tee · 05-22-2008, 11:46 PM

Even if he can juke him he still has another 50+ yards of straight line running to do, with his back to the bear. That is when the bear will turn El into Grizzly Man.

I think Grizzly Man had better odds and a better bear handling strategy than Randle El does on this one.

05-22-2008, 08:22 PM	#1
mooby Hug Anne Spyder Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 20,577	Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear ESPN - Man vs. Bear - Hashmarks By Matt Mosley Since things are slow right now I figured I'd post this. One of the questions man has pondered since the beginning of football has been answered: Can a kick returner, starting at his own end zone, get past a bear standing at the 50 yard line, and run all the way to the other end zone without the bear catching him? Antwaan Randle El has answered the call. __________________ Hail to the Football Team

05-22-2008, 08:49 PM	#2
wilsowilso Registered User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Los Angeles Age: 52 Posts: 2,841	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear Yeah I saw that. I think it could be pretty close if the player somehow gets past the bear, but I would bet my money on the bear especially if it is a brown bear(Grizzly for example). Anyone who thinks a huge 900-1400 pound bear doesn't have agility just doesn't know anything about bears and what they are capable of. Brown bears are much faster than humans and they have the ability to hunt deer. A deer can outrun and maneuver a human by a very large margin therefore I say bet on the bear. It might not even be close at all now that I think about it.

05-22-2008, 08:53 PM	#3
GMScud Swearinger Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 12,626	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear Straight line speed I'd give it to a bear, but the zig zagging factor, I'd give it to Randle El. Pretty cool little video clip. __________________ Tardy

05-22-2008, 09:04 PM	#4
skinsfan_nn Playmaker Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Newport News,Virginia Age: 60 Posts: 4,495	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear Now thats funny. El better remember he just had that knee scoped and we need him this season.....I don't like his odds. And attack the bear, good idea. I just think he forgot to mention he was going to attack with a .50 cal __________________ "There's no greater feeling than moving a man from Point A to Point B, against his will." #68 THANKS COACH GIBBS FOR EVERYTHING! YOUR THE MAN AND ALWAYS WILL BE!

05-22-2008, 09:10 PM	#5
prinzeofmoval Special Teams Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 432	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear The bear would throttle him. __________________ I laugh at you Colt Brennan haters. You're the same guys who didn't wanna bench Brunell for Campbell. The tables will turn.

05-22-2008, 09:32 PM	#6
Paintrain Pro Bowl Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Ft. Lauderdale, FL Age: 54 Posts: 5,006	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear ARE would have him until he pulls up lame with a hamstring at the 5 yard line, then it's all bear. __________________ Paintrain's Redskins Fandom 1981-2014 I'm not dead but this team is dead to me...but now that McCloughan is here they may have new life! Jay Gruden = Zorny McSpurrier Kirk Cousins = Next Grossman

05-22-2008, 09:57 PM	#8
onlydarksets Playmaker Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: all up in your business Posts: 2,693	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear What if he muffs the kick? __________________ Stop reading my signature.

05-22-2008, 10:24 PM	#10
saden1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Seattle Age: 46 Posts: 10,069	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear I can't believe someone actually thinks they can outrun a bear. Maybe these guys think Chad Johnson actually beat a horse in a race. Straight line, zig-sag, back flips, whatever, the bear is going to maul you. __________________ "The Redskins have always suffered from chronic organizational deformities under Snyder." -Jenkins

05-22-2008, 10:43 PM	#13
MTK \m/ Join Date: Feb 2004 Age: 52 Posts: 99,832	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear holy waste of effing time __________________ Support The Warpath! \| Warpath Shop

05-22-2008, 11:24 PM	#14
chrisl4064 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Lake Travis, Texas Age: 44 Posts: 786	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear Well at least they didnt ask slow ass Rock, the bear would just have to put its arm out and trip him up, after that its all over.

05-22-2008, 11:46 PM	#15
Skinny Tee The Starter Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Redskins Nation Posts: 1,715	Re: Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear Even if he can juke him he still has another 50+ yards of straight line running to do, with his back to the bear. That is when the bear will turn El into Grizzly Man. I think Grizzly Man had better odds and a better bear handling strategy than Randle El does on this one. __________________ Redskinsly, _________Skinny Tee_________

Antwaan Randle El vs. 900 pound bear

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