Quote:
Originally Posted by CRedskinsRule
This really goes back to the "are you sure you understand?" type questions that were asked earlier. These kids are going to now have their father across the country from them. and you are looking at it as blackmail. The kids certainly won't, they will wonder why their mom and dad can't be together. They will get shuffled between school systems. But you think he is blackmailing you. Sorry, but he did not end the relationship, she did, and you merely added fire to the break up. A court could very well rule in his favor, or in hers, but they will always consider the kids interests (from the state's point of view - meaning dss could interject or they could have their own state appointed CASA lawyer) first.
Again, it's not blackmail, it's divorce with kids, and its hard to find anyone who is a winner, especially if the adults see (or use without seeing) the kids as hostages/bargaining chips/property.
--Getting along, like FD did  , is probably more important after a divorce then during the marriage. |
I guess it is more of negotiation than blackmail, but to say i'll let you go if you give me 50/50, otherwise I won't certainly sounds blackmailish to me. Oh well. I do not want to keep the kids from him, he is the father.
The daughter likes me a lot, we have a lot of fun together and she doesn't really miss her father when she's not around him. The younger son absolutely loves me. He cries when I leave, and that breaks my heart. Their father just doesn't spend time with them, and give them attention / love, so to have an active male / father figure in their lives is something they have been craving and are now getting. The kids just aren't suffering right now at all. They are happier and now that they have that desired attention they are behaving better too. No matter what I can never replace their biological father, nor do I want to try to. I hope he remains an active part of their life. Don't really know how this is going to pan out considering he will be so far away, but I am sure we can work something out. 50/50 will not be an option. Maybe 70/30 or something where he gets them in the summers, and we get them during the school season etc.
About running and finding another fish in the sea. That won't happen. I've already had the chance to find other fish in the sea, I want this fish. I have always wanted her, and always will regardless of circumstance. I am not some 21 year old that doesn't know what love is, and hasn't come to reality with my emotions / feelings. I am happier now than I have ever been even with the kids. I love those kids, and we have a great time together. I don't expect others to understand cause this is a unique scenario. Which is no big deal, just know that in terms of being with her, we both know what we are doing, and the possible consequences...we are willing to take those chances. The kids are the utmost priority to us, and their well being is more important than anything. In terms of how this will all play out, that's still up in the air.