advice needed...

[CRedskinsRule]

Originally Posted by firstdown

Why blackmail? They have kids together so he should have his share in time with them. If he is going to move across the country a judge might give him rights but it will be limited to whats in the best interest of the children. I had 50/50 custody with my X and she got our daughter evey other weekend and other reasonable visitation. For example on a school night she wants to take our daughter to dinner I had the final say so as long as I used reasonable judgement. Yes she can go to dinner if she had done all her homework or No, she has a big test tomorrow. We got along so we did not try to get at each other by using the kids as a prop. Thats the most important thing is not to drag the kids into this fight. If that happens it can get very nasty and everyone will loose.

This really goes back to the "are you sure you understand?" type questions that were asked earlier. These kids are going to now have their father across the country from them. and you are looking at it as blackmail. The kids certainly won't, they will wonder why their mom and dad can't be together. They will get shuffled between school systems. But you think he is blackmailing you. Sorry, but he did not end the relationship, she did, and you merely added fire to the break up. A court could very well rule in his favor, or in hers, but they will always consider the kids interests (from the state's point of view - meaning dss could interject or they could have their own state appointed CASA lawyer) first.
Again, it's not blackmail, it's divorce with kids, and its hard to find anyone who is a winner, especially if the adults see (or use without seeing) the kids as hostages/bargaining chips/property.

--Getting along, like FD did , is probably more important after a divorce then during the marriage.