Why did we trade for duckett?

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After much debate, give and take, posts, and interface on this issue, I decided to do some under-cover investigating.

It was determined that when T.J. Duckett first learned that the Redskin play book was 700 pages long, the native Michigander and MSU graduate's response was:

"Is someone going to read to me?"

After the blockbuster trade for T.J, and when plays were first called in the B&G practice, T.J. would run laterally, E&W as opposed to N & S. Something to do with Hotlanta, according to the coach-speak. Hotlanta, you see, is controlled by something called a "Vick", who as all Fantasy owners know, is not a controllable substance. T.J. was always known in Atlanta as the last "D" in the DVD. The uncontrollable substance, the 'Vick", # 7, and aka. Ron Mexico, had affected the T.J. HD!

So, Coach Al Saunders, and HOF Coach Gibbs have the T.J. in the shop, tinkering with the navigational system, re-directing his headlight assembly to recognize a #8 "MB", and are attempting to install a new "compass". Buges further diagnosed a hard-wiring problem, installed a new "CP" "U", which is always the B&G first option anyway, and recommended a GPS.

When we see T.J. again, there will be a distinct difference in his hard-wiring, and his recogition of the "CP" "U". But, alas, we will never see under his pads, to notice the scars.

True story!

All of the above has been fully researched with nameless Redskin insider sources, fully documented over the past several weeks, and we will have an on-field resolve in due time.