Adoption.

[saden1]

Originally Posted by jsarno

Nothing really, it's more of protection for the child.
Maybe I'm just being stupid, I just know it's hard enough on kids, and I don't want to make it any harder.

Given a choice a kid would prefer to have adopted parents of different race than being dragged through foster care. It's really our own preference and the commitment necessary that keeps us from looking outside our race. Yes the kids will have a rough time and get that stare when they call you dad but that's minor compared to spending Christmas with different foster parents every year if that.

I'm not saying be color blind, far from it. It's the adopting parents' responsibility's to teach the kid about their race and often times that's one of the factors that discourages couples from adopting children of different race. That's a big challenge and commitment, and your really can't blame people if they take the shorter path.

Call me crazy but I'd love to see kids adopted even by gay parents. Why the hell should a kid be in foster care when there are people willing to adopt them and love them?

In any case I wish you and your wife the best of luck and I would encourage you to at least explore the possibility of adopting a black or mixed-race child.

p.s. Five of my cousins who live in Italy are married or engaged to Italian men/women so I know the kind of pressures exerted and expectations levied by Italian families