Business meetings boring to you?

Monkeydad · 07-09-2008, 01:52 PM

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls?

Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,prepare your "Bullsh*t Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find that 5"x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
a. synergy
b. strategic fit
c. core competencies
d. best practice
e. bottom line
f. take that offline
g. 24/7
h. out of the loop
i. heads up
j. value-added
k. proactive
l. win-win
m. think outside the box
n. fast track
o. result-driven
p. empower(or empowerment)
q. knowledge base
r. at the end of the day
s. touch base
t. mindset
u. client focus(ed)
v. ballpark
w. game plan
x. leverage
y. Need to know basis

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

*

Testimonials from satisfied "Bullsh*t Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." -- Jack W., Boston

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." -- David D., Florida

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." -- Bill R., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."
-- Ben G., Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLSH*T!" for the third time in two hours." -- Kathleen H., Atlanta

KLHJ2 · 07-09-2008, 02:20 PM

Isn't this from an IBM commercial?

Hog1 · 07-09-2008, 02:29 PM

Hmmmm, synergy..........
enter the.............Webinar

MTK · 07-09-2008, 02:56 PM

lol good stuff, just reading that list annoyed the piss outta me

Hog1 · 07-09-2008, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mattyk72

lol good stuff, just reading that list annoyed the piss outta me

Bottom line MK, that is a strategic fit, and a proactive, heads up game plan to leverage a value added representation of the core competencies.

FRPLG · 07-09-2008, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog1

Bottom line MK, that is a strategic fit, and a proactive, heads up game plan to leverage a value added representation of the core competencies.

You for got that it is really is all about proactively integrating value-added result-driven services with a strong client focus. This will allow us to leverage our corporate synergy to empower our employees with best practices resulting in a win-win situation for us and our clients. it's really just about the mindset at the end of the day.

Or the win-win-win in the case of Michael Scott.

Hog1 · 07-09-2008, 03:16 PM

DAMMIT!
back to the webinar.............

ArtMonkDrillz · 07-09-2008, 03:38 PM

I'm going to use that list to rewrite my resume tonight.

SmootSmack · 07-09-2008, 03:45 PM

That's great. I probably hear all those phrases by the first 3 hours of work each day. It's a constant running joke among us here that certain exec's here talk business jargon all day long. Lately I've started using "tripping over midgets" As in...don't sweat the small stuff

MTK · 07-10-2008, 10:06 AM

Is there anything worse than a meeting with corporate who basically have no clue as to what you actually do on a daily basis?

Hog1 · 07-10-2008, 10:31 AM

My personal favorite is the cursory VIP visits to field offices to review Ops. Much time and energy is spent Super grooming all aspects of the operations, and preparation of the mandatory Dog, and Pony show for the Exec's and other "Knights of the round table". All the while accomplishing absolutely nothing productive, for a bunch of BS NOBODY cared about and won't remember 13 seconds after it's blessed completion.
Then it's........................on to lunch at Hooter's

07-09-2008, 01:52 PM	#1
Monkeydad Living Legend Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: PA Age: 46 Posts: 17,460	Business meetings boring to you? Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that. 1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,prepare your "Bullsht Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find that 5"x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks. 2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block: a. synergy b. strategic fit c. core competencies d. best practice e. bottom line f. take that offline g. 24/7 h. out of the loop i. heads up j. value-added k. proactive l. win-win m. think outside the box n. fast track o. result-driven p. empower(or empowerment) q. knowledge base r. at the end of the day s. touch base t. mindset u. client focus(ed) v. ballpark w. game plan x. leverage y. Need to know basis 3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases. 4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!" Testimonials from satisfied "Bullsht Bingo" players: "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." -- Jack W., Boston "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." -- David D., Florida "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." -- Bill R., New York City "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." -- Ben G., Denver "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed "BULLSHT!" for the third time in two hours." -- Kathleen H., Atlanta __________________ Not sent from a Droid, iPhone, Blackberry or toaster

07-09-2008, 02:20 PM	#2
KLHJ2 Inactive Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: DC Metro Area Age: 47 Posts: 5,829	Re: Business meetings boring to you? Isn't this from an IBM commercial?

07-09-2008, 02:29 PM	#3
Hog1 Quietly Dominating the East Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Naples, Florida Posts: 10,675	Re: Business meetings boring to you? Hmmmm, synergy.......... enter the.............Webinar __________________ Goodbye Sean..........Vaya Con Dios thankyou Joe....... *“God made certain people to play football. He was one of them.” – Joe Gibbs*

07-09-2008, 02:56 PM	#4
MTK \m/ Join Date: Feb 2004 Age: 52 Posts: 99,865	Re: Business meetings boring to you? lol good stuff, just reading that list annoyed the piss outta me __________________ Support The Warpath! \| Warpath Shop

07-09-2008, 03:16 PM	#7
Hog1 Quietly Dominating the East Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Naples, Florida Posts: 10,675	Re: Business meetings boring to you? DAMMIT! back to the webinar............. __________________ Goodbye Sean..........Vaya Con Dios thankyou Joe....... *“God made certain people to play football. He was one of them.” – Joe Gibbs*

07-09-2008, 03:38 PM	#8
ArtMonkDrillz Franchise Player Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Ellicott City, MD Age: 43 Posts: 8,029	Re: Business meetings boring to you? I'm going to use that list to rewrite my resume tonight. __________________ "Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man." The Dude

07-09-2008, 03:45 PM	#9
SmootSmack Uncle Phil Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 45,256	Re: Business meetings boring to you? That's great. I probably hear all those phrases by the first 3 hours of work each day. It's a constant running joke among us here that certain exec's here talk business jargon all day long. Lately I've started using "tripping over midgets" As in...don't sweat the small stuff __________________ You're So Vain...You Probably Think This Sig Is About You

07-10-2008, 10:06 AM	#10
MTK \m/ Join Date: Feb 2004 Age: 52 Posts: 99,865	Re: Business meetings boring to you? Is there anything worse than a meeting with corporate who basically have no clue as to what you actually do on a daily basis? __________________ Support The Warpath! \| Warpath Shop

07-10-2008, 10:31 AM	#11
Hog1 Quietly Dominating the East Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Naples, Florida Posts: 10,675	Re: Business meetings boring to you? My personal favorite is the cursory VIP visits to field offices to review Ops. Much time and energy is spent Super grooming all aspects of the operations, and preparation of the mandatory Dog, and Pony show for the Exec's and other "Knights of the round table". All the while accomplishing absolutely nothing productive, for a bunch of BS NOBODY cared about and won't remember 13 seconds after it's blessed completion. Then it's........................on to lunch at Hooter's __________________ Goodbye Sean..........Vaya Con Dios thankyou Joe....... *“God made certain people to play football. He was one of them.” – Joe Gibbs*

Business meetings boring to you?

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