advice needed...

[over the mountain]

i read the first page and the last, sorry if i speak out of turn or cover old ground.

1) most family law attorneys will tell you from the get go: "the only person who wins in divorce proceedings are the attorneys". ive clerked for judges and seen 10 plus year old divorce cases repeatedly come back into court for one thing or another, especially around the holidays with kids involved.

2) apply at the san diego post office, they are always hiring b/c not too many san diegans can pass the drug screening b/c most people out there are potheads!! 55k/yr plus 2 weeks paid vacation, gov't pension (maybe). my friend was a mail carrier, he would wake up around 6ish, pick up his mail, walk around in sunny san diego in his shorts listening to his ipod delivering mail, then be off by 3-4 o'clock. i honestly am thinking of abandoning my law career in maryland and returing to san diego to apply as a mail carrier.

3) either live in North Park or one of those areas where the rent is lower/reasonable b/c all the surfer trust fund kids think it is ghetto. its really not, it is quite nice if youve lived on the east coast and experienced the real ghettos. i compare it to silver spring. the occassional gun shots or police heli flying low announcing they are looking for an armed robber on your street is about the only embarrasing thing that can happen if you have guests over. and it is embarrassing.

4) there are so many apartment/comdo complexs in SD that there are always a ton of part time employment positions as an apartment manager. you get free or greatly reduced rent and still have your days to work a regular job, you just have to collect rent and interact with the maintenance poeple.

5) trust your emotions and feelings. once you start suspecting things from your girl (and vice versa i assume) it is hard to quiet those doubts. i am in a kinda similar situation as well where i question whether my current girl is with me for me or the idea of me. i decided im not gonna dwell on some negative with no proof, rather enjoy the moments together and if it aint meant to be then it will end eventually.

[jsarno]

Originally Posted by over the mountain

i read the first page and the last, sorry if i speak out of turn or cover old ground.

1) most family law attorneys will tell you from the get go: "the only person who wins in divorce proceedings are the attorneys". ive clerked for judges and seen 10 plus year old divorce cases repeatedly come back into court for one thing or another, especially around the holidays with kids involved.

2) apply at the san diego post office, they are always hiring b/c not too many san diegans can pass the drug screening b/c most people out there are potheads!! 55k/yr plus 2 weeks paid vacation, gov't pension (maybe). my friend was a mail carrier, he would wake up around 6ish, pick up his mail, walk around in sunny san diego in his shorts listening to his ipod delivering mail, then be off by 3-4 o'clock. i honestly am thinking of abandoning my law career in maryland and returing to san diego to apply as a mail carrier.

3) either live in North Park or one of those areas where the rent is lower/reasonable b/c all the surfer trust fund kids think it is ghetto. its really not, it is quite nice if youve lived on the east coast and experienced the real ghettos. i compare it to silver spring. the occassional gun shots or police heli flying low announcing they are looking for an armed robber on your street is about the only embarrasing thing that can happen if you have guests over. and it is embarrassing.

4) there are so many apartment/comdo complexs in SD that there are always a ton of part time employment positions as an apartment manager. you get free or greatly reduced rent and still have your days to work a regular job, you just have to collect rent and interact with the maintenance poeple.

5) trust your emotions and feelings. once you start suspecting things from your girl (and vice versa i assume) it is hard to quiet those doubts. i am in a kinda similar situation as well where i question whether my current girl is with me for me or the idea of me. i decided im not gonna dwell on some negative with no proof, rather enjoy the moments together and if it aint meant to be then it will end eventually.

That is a great idea...I didn't think of that. Thanks.

About #5, well, I really have no doubts about her intentions. I can't...well, won't...go into specifics, as GMscud says, some things are better left unsaid which is likely why a couple here think there are "swiss cheese holes". There are cause I'm leaving stuff out. Not everything needs to be posted, and I'm sure your guys understand that. But over the mountain, you are right. I have seen several people skrew up relationships over doubt and speculation even though nothing was going on. You just can't truly love someone this much and stand by and do nothing about it.

[SmootSmack]

Originally Posted by jsarno

That is a great idea...I didn't think of that. Thanks.

About #5, well, I really have no doubts about her intentions. I can't...well, won't...go into specifics, as GMscud says, some things are better left unsaid which is likely why a couple here think there are "swiss cheese holes". There are cause I'm leaving stuff out. Not everything needs to be posted, and I'm sure your guys understand that. But over the mountain, you are right. I have seen several people skrew up relationships over doubt and speculation even though nothing was going on. You just can't truly love someone this much and stand by and do nothing about it.

Considering all you've shared already, I can't begin to imagine what you'd leave out.

But I understand