Selfishness and Human Nature

[JoeRedskin]

I understand the doing things that make you feel good is "selfish" argument and figured it would come up sooner or later. [Did we all see the same Friends episode?]

It is correct to say that doing things that make you feel good is acting in your self interest. However, it is incorrect to say that they are per se selfish.

"selfish" has a defined meaning - it is acting in your own self interest with disregard for the interests of others. It is the disregard for others that makes actions "selfish" rather than then the knowledge that an act serves your self-interest. Doing any action in with your self-interest at heart (whether direct tangible compensation or some indirect intangible good feeling) is not in and of itself selfish. If you do the self interested act without some, either conscience or subconscience, consideration of others then the act becomes selfish.

Seeking to reap a benefit does not mean you are acting selfishly. It only means you have a healthy sense of self-awareness and are capable of acting in a manner that allows you to enjoy life. It is when we seek to reap a benefit without considering the ramifications to others that the act becomes selfish and hurtful:

If I assist at a shelter in order to feel good about myself that is a self-interested but not necessarily selfish act. The knowledge that my actions will bring me joy, simply shows that I have a healthy sense of self awareness -- I know how to act so that I can enjoy life.

On the other hand, if I go to the shelter every night to give and feel good about giving -- blissfully ignoring the fact that my wife is home alone with the kids, stressed, lonely and feeling abandoned, then acting on my self-interest is selfish.

I really think society has skewed the concept of selfishness lately and in doing so is in danger of losing the benefit of self-awareness. Only by knowing what brings joy/satisfaction, etc. to ourself, can we understand what causes that in others and, in doing so, rationally balance the causes and effects of are actions in relation to others.