Advice On Women Thread.

If that's where you stand on her, the choice is clear. In my mind, as soon as you determine a girl isn't marrying material, it's time to move onto the next one. Unless you're just trying to get your wee wee wet, then it's fine to keep it going. But it's kind of hard to do that when she's a continent away.

There's no point getting emotionally involved if marriage isn't a possibility. It will ultimately end in the same place.


Per your usual, you're making a reasonable and sound argument. And I totally agree with you. But how do you know someone is marry material before you know? True, I'm not going to marry this girl but I'm not with anyone else either. So I'm kind of in no man's land.

It might not be until November before she figures out exactly where she'll end up.

If that's where you stand on her, the choice is clear. In my mind, as soon as you determine a girl isn't marrying material, it's time to move onto the next one. Unless you're just trying to get your wee wee wet, then it's fine to keep it going. But it's kind of hard to do that when she's a continent away.

There's no point getting emotionally involved if marriage isn't a possibility. It will ultimately end in the same place.

Another thing, how in the hell do you "not get emotionally involved"? It's pretty hard to un-ring the bell my friend.

Good question. We swore it we would be just friends, then later we were like let's be friends with benefits until we both find that person. Because honestly there are some things I can't stand about this chick. But generally speaking I love her to death. Know what I mean?

But def not next level intentions here. Maybe I'm just bored and I need something to fill my mind?

Love grows stronger over time so if she isn't marrige material now she will be. If your feelings are stronger than hers and she is leaving I think it's best to just move on and get to work finding that person. I know she will be cause every guy around her wants to bang. Friends with benefits is only good if your on the same page or until some gets cut.

Love grows stronger over time so if she isn't marrige material now she will be. If your feelings are stronger than hers and she is leaving I think it's best to just move on and get to work finding that person. I know she will be cause every guy around her wants to bang. Friends with benefits is only good if your on the same page or until some gets cut.

Hmm...

Per your usual, you're making a reasonable and sound argument. And I totally agree with you. But how do you know someone is marry material before you know? True, I'm not going to marry this girl but I'm not with anyone else either. So I'm kind of in no man's land.

It might not be until November before she figures out exactly where she'll end up.
Most times, when you fall head over heels, you start thinking this is the one. Then you get to know the person, and then you make a decision on whether you will marry or not. For you to come out and say she's not marrying material tells me you've already made up your mind about it. So with that out of the way, I think this relationship is already past the point of no return, so it's time to shit or get off the pot so to speak. Cutting the relationship down to a set number of contact each week won't work, as you've seen already because she's breaking the 2/per rule. So if I were you, since she's not the marrying type (and has Schneed and saden have already said), it's time to cut your losses and move on.

Another thing, how in the hell do you "not get emotionally involved"? It's pretty hard to un-ring the bell my friend.

Space and time silences the bell..it is the best you can hope for in matters of love. And there is nothing petty and immature about walking away.

Space and time silences the bell..it is the best you can hope for in matters of love. And there is nothing petty and immature about walking away.

You are on a roll, my man.

You are on a roll, my man.

I speak from experience.

12th, I think it all boils down to you and how your approaching life and relationships. I always walked into a relationship as if this could be my wife. I'm not saying your not but it actually seems like you did fall in love with the first girl and you knew the long distant relationship would be dificult and thought it would be easier to just break it off. Then you reverted it later. You built up some barriers(rules) to keep yourself from getting hurt again and unfortunately your still getting hurt.

Now I'm going to get philosophical on you... although these relationships to you are/were awesome there is a reason the powers that be (god) is moving these women on. They must not be the one your meant to spend the rest of your life with. These might have simply been a trial run for you or they needed time away or you needed time away in order to mature in order to know what you want or to grow back together. Especially the first lady since now you know how you felt when she left. May e it's neither and someone more special will step into your life when you are ready to settle down but only you know. It doesn't sound like the second lady was going to be the women especially when you both set a bunch of rules to have to jump through. We all get hurt like this and it helps us grow and learn what we want in a women/wife. Without expierencing these things you'll never know what to look for. Lastly always keep in mind these relationships are helping you to learn your likes and dislikes about your future wife. You'll know when you have found them cause ther will be more traits you like in them and fewer dislikes. You will find they should be your best friend as well as companion. That's not to say you can't have the night out with the guys. Argeuments should be few and far between. And always remember you will get hurt now and then but it's how you deal with it and learn from it.

Perhaps I haven't helped at all but to say maybe they were not the ones and be willing to take chances knowing your feeling might get hurt again instead of putting up such rediculous rules( barriers) to hinder the relationships. If you feel the first girl was all that and the bag of chips then let her know. Maybe she cut ties for you thinking you wouldn't be able to handle it.

Per your usual, you're making a reasonable and sound argument. And I totally agree with you. But how do you know someone is marry material before you know? True, I'm not going to marry this girl but I'm not with anyone else either. So I'm kind of in no man's land.

It might not be until November before she figures out exactly where she'll end up.
Your mother or your sister will be happy to tell you if she is or not!
AND they will probably be right or LESS wrong than you