F....Cigarettes

Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week.

Well if that's the case then tell them if they want to see the kids either quit smoking altogether (not likely seeing how old they are) or you can see the kids by coming over to our house fully bathed and as smoke-residue-free as possible.

had this problem. only with my parents. my baby girl actually threw up from the smoke. gave them the ultimatum, either don't smoke around us, or we aren't coming over. still haven't been here, my daughters 22. caused a lot of hard feelings. would i do it again? definitely. my kids health was the priority. do i miss them as grand parents? sure. but the choice i made was the right one. but.... to want them to wash up, and whatever, is being a bit of a bigot. do you wash up before handling your kids? i think that's a bit extreme. just remember, your choice will have consequences, either way

Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week.
THAT should be exciting...Good Luck to you

Gotta put your kids first above all else.

As a kid that grew up around smokers who didn't give a damn about how often and where they did it I will not allow any future children to become subject to the same type of environment.

Here is the email I sent my MIL this morning, my wife is also going to speak with her in person but I felt I need to say my two cents:

Please don’t be mad at me in regards to this message…

Do you know that when XXXX came home on Monday his eyes were very red and he could not stop sneezing? I think the second hand smoke is starting to get to him. I realize you never smoke around him but the second hand smoke on your clothes and hands is harming him.

I really wish you guys would consider stopping if for anything XXXX’s health, it could literally kill him. Also, you guys are a huge part of his life and in my opinion his true go to grandparents and we need all of you around for a long long time! I am also scared that XXXXX who loves UNCLE and looks up to him may someday think smoking is cool.

Please I just ask that you guys consider quitting, it would make a huge impact in all of your lives. I KNOW that you guys never smoke around him and actually come to think of it I don’t think I have ever physical seen you smoke. I realize it is a huge undertaking but think of the impact it will have on our lives if you guys stop.

Please don’t take this as a I am holier then I type email, I know I have plenty of vices of my own to work out myself. I just felt like this was something I had to say.

Love,

XXXX

How Does Secondhand Smoke Affect Someone Else's Health? | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/how-does_4564532_smoke-affect-someone-elses-health.html)


Straight from the article:

Second hand smoke affects the body in several ways. It can irritate the eyes causing them to become red, itchy and watery. The lining of the nasal passages can be irritated causing sneezing and runny nose. Secondhand smoke can cause the throat to become dry and irritated. Most non-smokers tend to cough when exposed to secondhand smoke. Although most people may not realize it, secondhand smoke even affects the taste buds diminishing the full flavor of food.

Let me be clear here and I am not defending them but they have never smoked "around" my son indoors or out. It is the second hand smoke on their hands and clothes that makes him sick.

My MIL smokes a pack a day and I have never seen her actually smoke, it is always in some secret place, she is very ashamed of her habit.

My wife is in my corner and we are going to confront them this week.

Im a smoker, i do it outside the house as well. When you come back in the house you need to wash your hands but, like you said, theres still that lingering factor of smoke on the hands and clothes.

my only caution to you (you know the whole story, its your family, i dont so take it for what it is) but it seems that your in-laws have tried and made efforts to not only not put your son (and their grandson) in direct second hand smoke but also make sure that the lil guy doesnt see them do it.

my caution is, i wouldnt approach them antagonistically or even have the appearance of that. it seems the MIL is embarrassed of the situation, she is aware of it but depending on how you present this issue to which she is sensitive to, she might take it the wrong way, see it as an attack etc. i know when my lady starts complaining about my dogs I take it personal, as an attack sometimes.

i would start off by recognizing and commending her (and the rest) for their efforts to shield the child from their dirty habit. then tell them the most recent situation and come up with a plan that everyone involved can contribute to discussion wise.

i would focus the discussion on what everyoone wants - the best health for your child. i would try to stay away from making the MIL feel worse than she already does about her habit. it seems like she is doing everything she can think of, im guessin she doesnt know that the lingering smell and elements of smoke on her clothes still effects the child.

just be thoughtful and understanding in your approach. you all want the same thing.

i recommend an outdoor smoking cloak thing that she could wear when shes outside smoking then leave that cloak thing outside?

^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.

He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."

Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".

If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.

Cigarette Smoking: 46 Million American Junkies Still Puffing, Says CDC - Health Blog - CBS News (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20015802-10391704.html)

F smokers indeed.

^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.

He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."

Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".

If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.


One of the few times I can whole heartily say I agree with you.

It be one thing if the smoke only hurt the smoker but smokers are literally killing the rest of us as well and it is completely unfair to children who have no choice in the matter.

When I see a car load of kids with a smoker I seriously want to scream.