over the mountain
09-08-2010, 01:33 PM
^ Why sugarcoat everything? They know smoking is bad for your health and their bad habit is directly affecting a child's well-being.
He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."
Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".
If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.
i fully understand. but there are ways of approaching situations. this isnt my situation but if it was my number one goal would be to do whats best for my child. but achieving this goal is possible without alienating or embarrassing or attacking the grandmother who obviously loves her grandson very much.
of course she loves her grandson more than smoking so basic logic for a non-smoker dictates that she should just quit smoking. i'd like to think this dynamic and situation mredskins and his wife is in is more delicate and sensitive. your talking about a grandmother. about a grandmothers feelings and acts which hurt her grandson. what grandmother wants to be placed in a position in which her daughter and SOL and talking to her about her actions which negatively effect her grandsons's health?
to me, that situation can be resolved while keeping the grandmothers feelings and sense of nurturing intact.
all im offerring is a recommendation to mredskins (who seems like a real cool thoughtful person) to be mindful of his approach as his MIL may be sensitive to this issue. obviously something needs to be done, but do it with compassion and understanding. were not talking about mredskins brother or even uncle, were talking grandmother here.
im guessin all she wants is to be there for her grandson in every capacity she can. to let her know that despite her efforts otherwise she has been hurting her grandson must be a very powerful emotional blow to one's self of grandmotherhood.
He needs to be direct and clear, not "oh you're a responsible smoker and it would be nice if you'd..."
Smokers are irresponsible simply by being smokers. If they won't clean up for a kid's health, things need to change...like they can come visit him at his own smoke-free house. If they're like the majority of smokers, they'll take any suggestions as personal attacks on their "freedom".
If he is allergic, there is no ground to compromise on...they either have to help him out or stay away.
i fully understand. but there are ways of approaching situations. this isnt my situation but if it was my number one goal would be to do whats best for my child. but achieving this goal is possible without alienating or embarrassing or attacking the grandmother who obviously loves her grandson very much.
of course she loves her grandson more than smoking so basic logic for a non-smoker dictates that she should just quit smoking. i'd like to think this dynamic and situation mredskins and his wife is in is more delicate and sensitive. your talking about a grandmother. about a grandmothers feelings and acts which hurt her grandson. what grandmother wants to be placed in a position in which her daughter and SOL and talking to her about her actions which negatively effect her grandsons's health?
to me, that situation can be resolved while keeping the grandmothers feelings and sense of nurturing intact.
all im offerring is a recommendation to mredskins (who seems like a real cool thoughtful person) to be mindful of his approach as his MIL may be sensitive to this issue. obviously something needs to be done, but do it with compassion and understanding. were not talking about mredskins brother or even uncle, were talking grandmother here.
im guessin all she wants is to be there for her grandson in every capacity she can. to let her know that despite her efforts otherwise she has been hurting her grandson must be a very powerful emotional blow to one's self of grandmotherhood.