Zombie Apocalypse: What's Your Plan?

I think you missed the funny in that post.

damnit

damnit


This one has got me a couple of times:

My job is so f**king unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breath.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f**king stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work. Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single f**king day.
Anyway, I drive these f**ktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

This one has got me a couple of times:

My job is so f**king unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breath.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the f**king stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work. Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single f**king day.
Anyway, I drive these f**ktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

me get joke

Is there any doubt the whole mystery gang are stoners?

You need to get out of your moms basement.

Hold up...











Why...???

Hold up...











Why...???There's no escape route, Duh!!!!

True, true. The only thing I have down here is a quad-screen setup with multiple connections for my WoW parties! DAMMIT. Sometimes I need TO THINK!.

http://www.mastersinit.org/geeks-vs-nerds/geek.jpg

i'd give them beer and cry because all the laws of science and reality would have just been destroyed.

The laws of science and reality are always changing or being added to. There was a point where scientist thought black holes were science fiction in part because they seemingly violated the rules of physics. Now black holes are accepted as scientific fact.

Of course zombies as seen in Walking Dead are all but impossible but something like 28 Days Later........then again the infected in the 28 days weren't suppose to be considered zombies.

After REALLY thinking about it, I'd bust out my old ghetto blaster boom box and lay down a beat!

iRWOnoWFh4

Everyone knows zombies can't resist synchronized dancing.

Zombies could actually happen from a scientific standpoint. Science has admitted that. What wouldn't happen though is any kind of sustained "life" from them. There is documented proof that the Nazis during the war conducted experiments that "reanimated" the dead so to speak, but the research was abandoned because they had no way to effectively "control" them.

Now 28 days later is absolutley possible. As cool as it would be to think about, i would absolutley shit my pants if it actually happened. Sometimes dead is better.