advice needed...

You're pretty close.

I've visited San Diego several times during my off time...I'm here right now, but I leave tomorrow morning to go back. I don't officially move here til a week from this friday.

What do you mean your off-time?

Anyhow, her husband didn't find anything weird or say anything about her ex-fiance being back in the picture and taking his (and her) kids out everywhere.

And who do the kids think you are? Some family friend?

is all this really just a front to be closer to jamf? :)

Again, not a lawyer, but I doubt abandonment as a legal term here is applicable. it would be more so, if he took off, never seeing the kids or helping in any support, in which case (barring a 1000 other legal technicalities) he could lose a claim to having custody. I think abandonment was first mentioned when less was known.
Having said that, everything else still applies.

Love is like looking left and right at the same time. Love is the sickness and the cure. It is hard to find, hard to keep going, and easy to putout. Love is costly my friends. I know love and many a times I wanted to return it for a refund but all lovely sales are final. Be careful in your purchase, know what you are buying for love is fickle and is not enough.

Love is like looking left and right at the same time. Love is the sickness and the cure. It is hard to find, hard to keep going, and easy to putout. Love is costly my friends. I know love and many a times I wanted to return it for a refund but all lovely sales are final. Be careful in your purchase, know what you are buying for love is fickle and is not enough.

Truer words saden has never uttered.

I think you guys are right...her on the cruise is a bad idea (I hadn't added her yet anyway), but she will still take off with the kids and likely go to a friends house, or possibly out of state to her parents.
I am still curious as to how this is "abandonment"?
Once she leaves and leaves behind a letter, be 100% sure that letter will come back up in the divorce proceedings. He husband's attorney will use every word to paint her as an unfaithful / unappreciative / neglectful spouse and work to leave her with nothing of the marital assets, not to mention child custody issues.

I'm not an attorney, but abandonment is a flexible term that's a factor in a divorce used to determine either fault, child custody, or amounts of support. Back to one of my points...do not do anything until she (you do not go on the attorney visit) has contacted an attorney and you guys fully understand what legal / financial ground you're on and what the consequences are.

I cannot put words together like Saden , so with that good luck Jsarno . I hope everything works out for all of you .

Good luck Jsarno, hope it all works out for you. Based on my personal experience I would advise against doing anything impulsive, as being in love and making rational decisions are somewhat mutually exclusive. Indeed, love as a form of insanity is a metaphor that spans all of history, from the tracts of ancient Greece all the way up to recent studies showing the neurological patterns of lovers to resemble psychosis patients. You do crazy stuff you wouldn’t normally do and then wonder what you were thinking later. In college I once gave up living with some of my best friends in a party house to live with a girl who would have otherwise had to transfer to another school (long story). I was consumed by love, or at least what I thought was love, and I made a rash decision that I regret to this day.

So I guess my advice would be this: the more time you can take to step back and think about things rationally and deliberately, the more sound your decision making process will be, and the more likely you will be to find lasting happiness, once the intoxication of an old passion restored wears off.

GET A GOOD...divorce atty ASAP..to help you map out strategy. NOTHING is as you believe it to be.

Well I have the day to think about this thing as well and read much of this thread. Several things come to mind:
You are potentially stepping into a Hornets nest
EVERYTHING that you can imagine will be used....against your girl in court
If you want a PRAYER of keeping bio dad in check you must remain unknown....totally in this deal so your not stealing his family....that includes the kids. If they mention you, they might have to testify and mom has big problems...big time bad for the kids as well
Do this thing right, and by the numbers so you can always look back and say that you have nothing to be ashamed for!
DON'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU GET AN ATTY. The single worst thing you can do is underestimate your opponent.......ask my x-wife
If it is supposed to be, it will

Good luck to you J

I bet somebody has that as a sig before the week is out.

i was thinking about it right up until i saw this... now it just seems cliched.

:silly:

Good luck Jsarno, hope it all works out for you. Based on my personal experience I would advise against doing anything impulsive, as being in love and making rational decisions are somewhat mutually exclusive. Indeed, love as a form of insanity is a metaphor that spans all of history, from the tracts of ancient Greece all the way up to recent studies showing the neurological patterns of lovers to resemble psychosis patients. You do crazy stuff you wouldn’t normally do and then wonder what you were thinking later. In college I once gave up living with some of my best friends in a party house to live with a girl who would have otherwise had to transfer to another school (long story). I was consumed by love, or at least what I thought was love, and I made a rash decision that I regret to this day.

So I guess my advice would be this: the more time you can take to step back and think about things rationally and deliberately, the more sound your decision making process will be, and the more likely you will be to find lasting happiness, once the intoxication of an old passion restored wears off.

http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii184/Rivaldo14/Sparta.gif

OK so the bolded part really applied more to Menalaus, Helen, and Paris of Troy. But there are no funny gifs of Brad Pitt kicking a dude down a hole. I think I made the right decision.