understanding a sexless marriage: Should I stay or go??

Hey guys im back. The weekend was kind of busy and I've got both good news and bad news to report.

I can tell you first that we made huge progress over the weekend. On Saturday we were together all day between going to yard sales and also going over to my father's for his birthday dinner. She told me that there are some nights that she is in the mood mentally, but physical exhaustion takes it from her.

She also told me that sometimes i annoy her or piss her off, leading to her not wanting to have sex. I guess there are annoying habits of mine that i am letting slip. (I had this problem when i was engaged).

And now the bad news: It will be Wednesday at the earliest that i can try again....Wife is having that monthly time....so i suffer a few more days, and hopefully end this horrible spell on Wednesday. Thanks everybody

Well, progress. That couch scene on Friday was BAD...she seemed psycho or..."out of town" in female terms, which was confirmed.

Of course, that may explain that particular moment of insanity but not the previous 5 weeks.

Crazy how she accuses YOU of leading her on and letting her down. That's almost laughable...like you'd actually turn her down if she wanted to do something.

I say keep talking, even if it only gets you a longer list of your offenses and complaints about you...it's something and progress.


If this continues on for another month, I'd SERIOUSLY try to get her into marriage counseling if you don't find out about any physical/medical/hormonal problems. It's no fun but it will be the only resort to try to save the relationship. You can't let her screw with your emotions and sanity constantly...or have all of the power in the relationship. No one party should, it needs to be a give-and-take thing, compromising to make the other person happy. If either one of you is only in it for your own personal happiness, no one will be happy.

I dont remember butting heads in the Campbell thread, but if we did I'm sorry. One thing I do like about the board is that with the exception of a few trolls that pop in here and there, people get along basically great here even when they are disagreeing.

Everybody has been giving great advice and it really makes me feel good to know that I am not alone. I still am shocked at the amount of men that get married and then the sex just dries up. Where are these women getting it from then??? I have a hard time believing that people just stop and are ok with it.

I found a USA today poll like i mentioned earlier, that was horrifying. 65% of married adults have sex only once a week, 20% have sex once every 2 weeks, and horrifyingly 15% have sex less than once a month....Somebody seriously needs to find out why. I find it hard to believe that every single man or women resort to prostitutes or having an affair to get what they need.

Those poll number do not add up or the questions were very limited. When she said it was that time of month you should have encouraged her to do something else. Nothing spells love better the Blow J#%. JK

Hey good morning everyone again.

Last night didn't go so well. I was watching the Skins game alone, because my wife went to visit her parents because it was her brother's 19th birthday.

...

I will continue to pray and seek advice from people and start getting a gameplan together, because I do believe now that this is the beginning of the end.

I read this awhile ago, so sorry for jumping in late. Ignoring all the stuff that went on, your first bit seems to set a bit of a tone, and your last sentence completes it. You say you were watching the game alone, and I read it like you were blaming her for that fact, when in fact, it was a preseason game. If you want to be getting "cuddly" with your wife you should have been at her brother's b'day party. Right there you are choosing football over family, at least possibly in her eyes, and it was important enough to her that she went. You then go on a bit of a rant against her actions, but really from her eyes were your actions any less self serving, sure you did the massage and everything, but she probably was ticked off that you didn't go with her and the minute she gets home you are on her like a cat in heat.

Then you end with a doom statement, that this is the beginning of the end. Boy, if she catches that vibe from you, I am sure that would make her want you all the more. It just seems, and of course not having a real inkling of anything other than words on screens, that you are not really looking at yourself through her eyes. How different could Friday have been, if you had gone to the B'day party, made every effort to stay in good graces with her family (i also assume that there is some blocks there or else you would have gone), and then driven her home, and shared more intimacy, up to but not necessarily including sex. Instead, you watched your game, maybe sulking that you were alone - maybe not, she comes home, and you start doing your lets be intimate dance, which she probably knows and by then was already not in the mood for. Further, she probably started off thinking, well let's do this and that way he's off my back for a while, but as the massaging went on, her mind went back to the things that she was ticked about thus leading to the tirade.

Finally sorry for the poor paragraph/grammer. keep writing some then working then writing etc...

You call 32 days a Dry spell...........

Wait until you have kids...lol

^ I agree, but there's a little more going on than that.

I can chalk it up to all the problems being on me....or caused by me.

I just want to know what it is besides my annoying habits, which i will explain if anyone wants to know

what are your annoying habits?

I can chalk it up to all the problems being on me....or caused by me.

I just want to know what it is besides my annoying habits, which i will explain if anyone wants to know

Wait, so now it's all your fault?

what are your annoying habits?

Ok guys please dont laugh at me because i'm being brutally honest here:

she doesnt like her face being touched. I cup her chin sometimes to be playful.

I grab her butt when she isnt paying attention, and sometimes it makes her mad.

I have a habitually negative demeanor sometimes; i can be too overdramatic. For example, yesterday i was describing our recent drought (weather wise, not sex lol) to a neighbor, and i was telling him how lucky we were for the rain, because "people were near death" in my own words. Sometimes i say things like that and i honestly cant help it. it is so random.

Wait, so now it's all your fault?

Im saying as a man, i can accept that it is something caused by me, because i dont want to believe that she is not interested in me like that anymore.