F...People that take the middle urinal

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SmootSmack
09-04-2009, 03:45 PM
Never take the middle urinal or stall. That's right up there with never answer if your wife/girlfriend/mistress/dominatrix asks "do these jeans make me look fat?"

Of course, at my work we just have two urinals in each bathroom (in some rare cases we have four, but they're in sets of two). So you have no choice but to stand next to someone else in some situations. There's a big divider between the urinals but still...it could be worse. I spent about a month in China several years back, and the urinals there are basically one large trough across the floor.

What really gets me though, and I don't know if you all have these at work, are the automatic flush toilets in the stalls. Every time you move, the toilet flushes. You reach for the toilet paper...flush. You lean down for a minute...flush. It's redonkulous

KLHJ2
09-04-2009, 03:46 PM
i am very secure in my man hood. i piss where ever ...

GREAT! Maybe later you can cross swords with firstdown.

dmek25
09-04-2009, 03:56 PM
hahaha. that would be easy. he would never move to his left

TheMalcolmConnection
09-04-2009, 03:57 PM
Which brings up another question?

Is the handicapped crapper considered the Ritz Carlton of crappers or just the unmanly crapper?

Absolutely, but here's my problem...

...why are there freaking four inch gaps in that one only? Just to make it not 100% awesome?! :(

mredskins
09-04-2009, 04:01 PM
Which brings up another question?

Is the handicapped crapper considered the Ritz Carlton of crappers or just the unmanly crapper?


A month ago I was using the handy crapper when a I saw four wheels roll in. I hear "goddamit" and then he rolled out. I felt like crap but I love the extra space in there!

Also they just added "walls" between our urinals here, it is about time! I hate shoulder to shoulder peeing.

MTK
09-04-2009, 04:19 PM
I hate the dude that is at the urinal next to you and wants to talk to you, and keeps looking over. Hey, talking is fine, but don't be looking at me. Head straight ahead and all times bro.

TheMalcolmConnection
09-04-2009, 04:21 PM
HAHA. That being said, I'm glad I'm drunk at FedEx when I piss. It's an f-ing herd in there.

KLHJ2
09-04-2009, 04:27 PM
HAHA. That being said, I'm glad I'm drunk at FedEx when I piss. It's an f-ing herd in there.

Yeah ,FEDEX is about the only place where I am in "I don't give a f**k" mode only because I am nice and shit faced.

mredskins
09-04-2009, 04:35 PM
Never ever ever, take a crap in a staduim or a dance club. Probably two worst places to pull that off in. Best place to take a public crap? A nice hotel's lobby bathroom.

JoeRedskin
09-04-2009, 04:40 PM
When it comes to the crapper, I have a thread ending statement.... Smoot knows where it is. lol

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